It was time for us to take photos with our fans. I had to do this, I can't back out of this one. They never forgive me if I don't do this. Really all I have to do stand there, smile and talk to them. Jenny said she would cover my scar on my forehead with makeup so no one can see my scar. Donnie's idea, hoping it would help me feel better.
Here I now stand next to the others with all the fans waiting in line. We are going to be here for hours. My scar is covered and I'm wearing sunglasses to help. I don't know how long I can do this for, now they start coming towards us. I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Maybe I do need to speak about it. They either think that I am boring or I am sick not that I am scared that it's going to bring up bad memories making me anxious about everything I do with the group. I can't even get a break from this as more and more of them come.
I have so far survived an hour and yet to meet that girl from the other night, I think Donnie is on the lookout for that one. The nervous energy running through me is making me nauseous. I take a sip of water from my bottle. There was the light strawberry blonde girl hugging Joe at the moment. Two down from me. Suddenly she is in front of me. She smiles at me shyly. She was the first I hugged in the whole of this session. I think most of the fans understood, I was looking a little green. I felt calmer after that hug. I hugged a few more fans after that. After a long day the line started to get shorter, Donnie noticed the last girl was the one from other night.
"I can stall her if you want to get out the way".
"No, I will stay. I will have to face the problem soon" I nervously replied. Jon next to me place his hand on my shoulder for support. There she was with Donnie next to me. I couldn't face her so I took off. Donnie and he watched me go.
"He has not been feeling very well all at this cruise" he replied. Jon went after me. He found me back in my cabin, well in the bathroom of my cabin. Jon came into my cabin and could hear my retching in the bathroom.
"Are you OK J?". He knocked as I didn't say anything. He came in any way. "Are you OK?"
"Yeah. Must have been something I ate". He just looked at me knowing that I was lying through my teeth. "I am going to lie down for a bit. I will be ready for the concert tonight. It will pass" But I rushed back to the bathroom and threw up again. My feelings are getting worse and everything is set off it. I can't do this, I can't keep this up anymore. I go and lie down this time. Jon sits on the edge of the bed with his phone.
Have a situation. Emergency guys. I need you here in J's cabin. Fast. Drop everything and get here now.
Once he sent the text to the others, he looks over at me. I have fallen asleep lightly snoring away. Like he did when I was in the hospital, he went to lie next to me. I smiled in my sleep and snuggled up to him like I did when I was very young. It wasn't long before everyone else came.
"What's up Jon?" replied Donnie as he came through the door first followed by Danny and then Joe who shut the door fully this time. They all looked at Jon lying on the bed next to me.
"I found him throwing up. He says it was something he ate. But I am not sure. He has been jumpy, nervous and feeling ill since the start of the cruise. He does feel very hot and clammy. I think he had another attack. Before he fell asleep, he was going on again about not able to do this".
"Are we in the twilight zone cos we had this with you in 1994?. I am sure of it as you two have swapped places".
"You voted me out".
"You quit and left".
"What are we gonna do about the show soon?
"He said he'd be there" replied Jon, "I think he is more worried about his own tomorrow".
Donnie grinned broadly "I have an idea to help. Jon, you sit with him up on stage tomorrow. And leave the rest to me". They all carry on talking. I woke up a while later.
I open my eyes and see Jon laying next to me and talking to the others in the room. My eyes were following the one talking. They were talking about me as I could hear little bits of their conversation.
"Oh look who has joined us in the world of the living".
They all soon start to disappear one by one leaving just Jon left with me. He's just looking at me trying to work out what I was feeling and going to to do next. Am I going to go or going to stay?
"I am going to get ready for the show tonight. I think you should too. You had another attack, didn't you? Cos you're sweaty. Go and have a shower. Meet you here in a few". I just look at him not saying anything.
Later we were on stage for our show. I sit on a stool between Donnie and Jon as Donnie is in the middle. It usually is me but doesn't want to the be the centre of attention. I guess that's why I have been classed as boring now as I am not be soaking up all the attention like a sponge which what I used to do. I am not that guy anymore or at least for now. It's not a full-on a concert just a few songs for about an hour. Moment of truth can I remember the songs especially the new ones. I sit there were sunglasses on, earplugs in to help with the songs and more make up on my face.
The songs we start with I have leads later on so I can relax. Hopefully. So we went through Remix, Cover girl and I'll be there to start with. Then onto We own tonight, Valentine girl, and Hanging Tough. I was doing alright, well I was looking at them I was more away from the fans. Then the big test for me, Step by step, The right stuff and One more night. We did some of the old stuff then sang one of our new songs on our new album which comes out soon.
I started off shaky and nervous but my confidence grew towards the end, I was still not looking directly at the fans even with sunglasses I couldn't. When I tried all I could hear was metal crunching and all I could see was us on the bus again. I tried to shake the feeling from my head but I couldn't, it was still there. I am started to panic again, shaking and trembling even the words I was singing sounded shaky. It got loud in my head and I couldn't hear the lyrics for The whisper so I missed my cue which made me panic more even though the fans were singing it.
I got up and walked off shaking. I was out of view of everyone including the rest of the group, I collapsed onto the floor in a heap. I don't know how long I was there on the floor until someone found because next, I knew I woke up in my bed in my cabin
A/n depending on how long the next chapter is. There will be a surprise as one will cheering up J. Not to miss as you will never Donnie like this, hopefully 🤣🤣😂😂
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Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)
Fanfiction(Completed) Jordan Is now has slowly recovered from the effects of the accident they had on tour last year. If he is really going to recover he will need to find that special someone so Jordan is then never alone.
