Home: Boston

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Jon and I left Newcastle to travel to London to fly home while everyone else travelled onto the next destination. I am still annoyed about everything and Jon can tell as I am quiet. I put my headphones on and close my eyes to shut the world out. I wake later by a nudge from Jon saying we are in London. I text Caitlin to let her what's happening.

J: Going home to Boston for a few days. Just to let you know.

C: OK. You alright?

J: No.

C: What wrong? Must be something to wake me up early.

J: Sorry.

C: Don't be. What's wrong?

J: Everything.

C: You alone.

J: No Jon is here.

C: Good. Why everything?

J: Tell you when I do some thinking back home.

C: K. Safe trip. See you soon. I am counting the days.

J: How many?

C: 90 days.😉

J: 😋😚 Can't wait xx

C: Me neither xxoxx

J: Bye

C: Bye

I shut my phone off and walked with Jon to go to catch our plane home. It was a long flight back home. We landed at Logan airport. I was asleep most of the flight I was exhausted. We walked through arrivals there was our mom and my two sons waiting for us. I ran to mom. I hugged her and tears ran down my face. All the emotion I had for the last couple of days was let loose and I cried. Mom was confused why I was clinging on like a child and basically bawling my eyes out in front of the boys. She looked up at Jon.

"We are here because of him. This is why. There are problems with the label and management because of his head etc. They don't believe he is not doing what they think he is doing".

"What do they think my son is doing?" she wrapped her arms around me.

"Because he is not lean lanky J anymore. They think he's on drugs".

"He wouldn't dare. He knows I would kill him".

"And me and Danny even Joe and Donnie. Especially Donnie would have him".

" I thought I could feel something when he wrapped his arms around me". I was still clinging on. My boys were confused what to do. Jon took them for coffee and food nearby. While mom was trying to get me to move. I wasn't letting go.

"You have to let go. We need to go" I shook my head. I was safe here in my mom's arms "People are staring".

"I don't care. I'm safe here. They don't know it's me. I have a hat and sunglasses on".

"They will soon. Someone will recognise me".

"No, they won't".

"Come on let go. We need to go find your brother. Jordy let go".

"Mom. Please don't use that. Don't call me that".

"Then let go". I reluctantly let go. I walked slowly behind her keeping close. We found them in the coffee place. I sat down next to Jon and took a piece of his doughnut.

" Hey"

"Where's mine?".

" You seem, happier " he replied "Hey get your own" as I went for his coffee.

"No time" as I took a sip of it before he swiped it back.

* * * * * * *

We soon arrived home well the family home. Because of the boys staying with mom while I was away. It was easier this way. I went up to my old room with my bag. I didn't want to be around people I have a lot to think about. Do I really want to become boring old Jordan? Do I want to carry on even with the dispute going on? I do love it and live for it for the moment. I love being on stage. The room hasn't really been touched in years. They always moaned at me cos I was the baby of the family that my room is a shrine for mom all my stuff is still here that I didn't take with me. My first keyboard is still in the corner. I smile. I drop my bag on the floor and sat on the bed. I put my hands on my face rub it a couple of times. Next, I knew I was being woken up by mom.

"Dinner is ready"

"Not hungry mom. I am just going to stay here".

"OK, we will talk later". I nodded and rolled over. I just want to be on my own for a bit. Soon I hear footsteps coming near me. I hear a plate being put on down. I bet its Jon. There were more footsteps but this one moved onto the bed and jumped on me. Defo not Jon. The other person just sat on the bed while the other one has wrapped arms around me and hugged me. I turned my head and saw both my boys.

" I brought you some food, dad" replied DJ "Are you alright?. Uncle Jon mentioned something". Oh did he now.

"I missed you, dad, " replied the other voice belonging to my younger son.

"I missed you too" I replied, "How's it been?".

" We want to know about you?"

"I'm fine"

"Why are you home?"

"Break".

" Really"

"Why I am getting the third degree from my son?".

" We want to help".

Now Jon appears in the doorway "Weren't you told to leave your dad alone for a bit guys"

"I brought up some food".

" It's alright they can stay. I was only sleeping. They are not doing any harm by being here. They are helping".

"You feel any better J".

" Not really. I got a lot on my mind and my head hurts because of it. I wish it would all go away". Saved by the phone again.

Caitlin: Have you arrived yet

Ding

Joe: Help me. When are you two back? Donnie is being annoying.

Ding

Ddub: Whatever little Joey Joe is saying. It's not true. He is annoying.

Ding

D: Hoping you are feeling better J. I need Jon back to control these animals.

I send a message to all of them one message.

J: Arrived a few hours ago. I am OK I think. It's good to be home. Jon is staying with me. He would rather look after one idiot than three 😆 😅😉.

They all leave me on my own as they go and watch a movie but I didn't want to so I wrapped the blanket around me like my little cocoon, my safe zone. I looked down at the plate. It's mom's home cooking but I am just not hungry. I take a piece and eat it but it still doesn't make me wanna eat though. I close my eyes and fall asleep or at least try too. There were so many things going through my stupid head and it won't slow down to allow me to sleep.



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