Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)

After party : London cont:

A/n Need to read the first part of After party: London before you read this chapter. 

Catlins pov
After I met this guy called Jay, I was given a new ticket and a pass for the after party. I found my seat right up front in the centre. Soon every fan was filling up the arena. As we were waiting for the warm up to come, I could hear all the whispers around me.

'There is only 4 of them tonight and it's not Jon who is missing.'

'From the Youtube videos of their cruise, Jordan was not himself a little too quiet almost Jon like. He was more in the background. At times he was missing.'

'That's because he had been having panic attacks on the cruise.' 

'There are rumours he has left the band'

'I heard from someone that she saw him drinking coffee not long ago with a girl here.'

'Did you see the post someone posted on facebook about his problems? All said by him on the cruise. He's been having severe panic attacks. He has struggled since their accident in 2017.'

'Poor guy.'

I really hate gossiping but I couldn't help but listen to it. I am here to see the band whether or not one is missing. 

The warm-up act came and went. Now waiting for the main event. Then everything goes black and the screaming starts. Then they merge from their ramp, all five of them. There was Jordan, the one the girls were talking about next to Donnie and Jon with sunglasses on and his head down not looking towards the crowd as he normally does. They go into 'One more night' As soon as the concert starts it seems to have finished quickly. My phone beeps again

J: Looking forward to seeing you at the after party. You are still coming, aren't you?

Beep

J: Someone will meet you by the exit where you are now?

Beep

J: See you soon 😉😁

I left my seat to exit with the other fans, I was stopped by a gentleman who asked me to follow him. I was taken to a room backstage with a few other lucky girls with passes but theirs were for the meet and greet. I had my other special pass in my pocket given to me by the gentleman. I meet 4 of the 5 guys from the band. One of them was not going to be there until after the meet and greet as he wasn't feeling well. Which annoyed some of the girls as it was Jordan that wasn't there. After the other girls left I was talking to Jon about the show and stuff. When Jordan came over.

"Hope you enjoyed the show," He said 

"Yeah, I did. Thanks". 

"I hope the view from the front was to your liking". 

"Tell your friend Jay thanks". Jon looked at Jordan confused but walked off back to the others. Then a blonde hangs off him and I take this as my ticket out of there to find Jay.

C: Where are you, Jay? I thought you said you were friends with the band.

Beep

C: I thought we had a connection

Beep

C: I thought you liked me when you tried to kiss me

Beep

C: where are you?


J: I am just where you left me


C: No you weren't. There was only Jon and Jordan standing next to me. Unless you were behind them.

J: Yeah I was

I came back looking for Jay but still don't see him.

C: I don't see you.

He grabbed one of Donnie's hats and put on his head for me to find him through the crowd.

J: do you see me now

C: yes

I came over to him and he smiles back at me.

"Hi, Jay". He removes his hat.

"No, it's not; its Jordan or J as in the letter J. I lied about my name. I used Jay the name I used while I was recovering. I didn't want you to know it's me"

"Why?"

"I still feel vulnerable and anxious with everything. That's why you found where you did. I nearly couldn't do the show. I ran off before sound check. I wasn't sure if you want to know me for me or the popstar me".

"You were alright doing the show"

"Just alright".

"Yea" 

"That was because of you" I looked shocked. "There is something there between us. It calms me. I haven't felt that way in a long time". He steps closer to me and I can smell the soft woody smell of his cologne. He is so close I can also smell his minty fresh breath. Joe bursts out into 'kiss the girl'. Donnie joins him.

Jordan looks down at me and then down at my lips. He moves closer then, his lips crash into mine. Jordan wraps his arms around my waist and somehow I wrap mine around his neck playing with his soft hair. His hands move under my shirt not going far just there on my back. He deepens our kiss and pulls me in close. He tongue licks my lips begging for entry. I moan and opens my mouth more to allow his tongue in and play with mine. Then there is loud cheer all around. Then I hear a familiar tune of one of Jordan's solo songs O-Face. I hear him groan at their little joke. Then I realise what I am doing, I am kissing Jordan fucking Knight. I stop and back away. I get all shy around him.

" I am sorry. I shouldn't be doing this. You're married. I got to go" I said anxiously. I didn't wait to hear his story. 'Let's go higher' playing now. 

"Wait, Caitlin, I am not married anymore. I have been single for over a year now" he said as I was running out of there. I didn't turn around to look at the hurt look on his face. He stood there with his shoulders slump and head down low in defeat.