*warning sexual content later*
Caitlin's Pov
It's been a week since Jordan surprised me with a visit. And been a week since our first sexual intimate time. He doesn't remember and has gone back to being scared again. I think he is scared because he fell asleep afterwards and he's scared himself thinking he is not good enough. I haven't pressured him. I have left it to him. Even though my body has been aching for more. That feel of him inside me. So will have to shut my legs. He is still feeling vulnerable from the accident, his scars, his new muscular body, from being with someone that is not his ex-wife and what I think of him. I can't imagine how he feels. I will just let him come to me. The past week we have spent most of our time cooped up indoors as it had been raining. We haven't touched each other, he won't let it happen.
Jordan is here for another three weeks before he has an operation on his knee. There has been one problem after another with the poor guy. No wonder he is anxious most times. But I have never seen him angry as Jon and Joe have told me. I have only seen anxious J. Jordan sits away from me now as we watch a movie together. He won't sit next to me. Every time I move closer, he shoots away like a scared animal. I sneak a peek at him and I notice he's a little uncomfortable and he shifts in his seat. He thinks I am not paying any attention to him but I have noticed he has disappeared very quickly. Rather quickly for my liking. What's up with that?.
Jordan's Pov
I am so scared that I have ruined our relationship. I have become scared of intimacy again. I feel I like I didn't do it to her liking mainly I got physically and mentally tired and fell asleep afterwards. I feel she will leave because of it. I want more but I am scared to do so. I try not to sit to close to affect it. Like our times in the hotels in London and Manchester, we have been sleeping in the same bed but not so close I have been sleeping on the edge of the bed again. As we were watching a movie my phone dings a message.
J: How's your break going?
Me: Good. How's your in-between work vacation? I am sure you are on more vacations than work
J: hahaha, I'm good. You
Me: Yeah fine
J: Even through a text, you don't sound it. What's wrong?
Me: I can't
J: Wait a minute.
I carry on trying to watch the movie. Still feeling a little jittery. Sometimes I really hate my PTSD and anxiety. I can't do anything right. I sneak a look over at Caitlin but she doesn't notice. My phone rings then she looks at me. I shrug my shoulders as I get to answer it.
"Oh hi".
What's wrong?
" Nothing"
It doesn't sound it.
What was I gonna say?...
Whatever it is. You can talk to me about it. Is it your leg again.
"No"
Is it that one brain cell you got left.
"No. Hey!!"
Sorry, couldn't resist it. Honest it's not your head is it.
"No"
What have you done?
"Why do you think that?"
Well isn't it always you.
"No... just... my emotions... this time again".
What did you do?
YOU ARE READING
Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)
Fanfiction(Completed) Jordan Is now has slowly recovered from the effects of the accident they had on tour last year. If he is really going to recover he will need to find that special someone so Jordan is then never alone.
