Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)

Tour: Newcastle

It has been a few days since I seen Caitlin. I was thinking back to the night in Manchester, that night I panicked and ran into the bathroom after we're kissing each other in bed. I managed to get on top of her kissing her while she was finally running her hands over me and my chest as she had wanted to do all night. I was liking it as I closed my eyes may be a little too much. As my body woke up to a feeling I haven't felt since my wife well ex-wife. I am not ready for the next level even if my body was telling it was OK too. I ran into the bathroom and had a very cold shower to cool my feelings but couldn't tame the images I had in my head. I went back to the bed and curled into a ball and cried. I hate my brain and head sometimes as my emotions are still fucked up. And again the only one that could calm me down was my brother like always. I knew she wanted to go further as I could feel it which why my own traitorous body was reacting too as I could feel myself get hard. That was why I panicked and why she had to call my brother as I wouldn't even let her touch me. I look at my phone again as I lost my train of thought as she and I were texting each other before the show in Newcastle and I haven't replied in a while.

C: J are you still there???  

C: I am still sorry about what happened in Manchester. I am sorry I push you out of your comfort zone. I pushed you when I knew you weren't ready. That's why when you came to see me in my hometown I stopped it before you got scared off.

C: I can't wait to see you in August

C: I am counting the days

C: Are you busy???

C: Is that why you haven't replied?

I went into another daydream. Since the guys found about my secret body only because I used to hide under hoodies and jackets which I can't do now as it's warm but also some t-shirts hide it as well, Joe and Donnie have been trying to get photo evidence of me for the fans since I won't show it on stage anymore. All that teasing while dancing that I used to do is long gone. Another memory of the last tour and memories of the crash. They want to show the new body of me to tease and make the girls swoon and go crazy over me. Never again. That's not me anymore well not for now anyway.

J: I am sorry I haven't replied back. Been thinking and lost track of what I was doing.

C: Why are you thinking? What's going on?

J: Thinking back to the night in Manchester. We didn't really sort it when Jon and I came down to see you days ago.

C: Are you ok?

J: Miss you

C: I miss you too but that's not answering my question

J: About the same when I saw you. Worried about the meeting with management.

C: Don't be

J: I am worried that I am out.

My phone starts to ring.

"Hello"

Hello Jordan.

"Hi"

I thought this would be better than trying to text. 

"I know" I love to hear her voice. I look around the make if anyone was around. No one. 

So what's going on?.

I take a big deep breath " I am worried I am going to lose it all. The one thing I know I am good at, the only thing I am good at, the only thing that makes me happy even though I haven't felt it for a while". She was quiet on the other end. I heard footsteps behind me. I was sat on the edge of the stage with my legs hanging over the side.

"You are going nowhere, Jordan".

"Did you say something, Caitlin?".

"No not me" replied Caitlin.

"It was me" I turned around there were Jon and Jared. I looked at them confused. "You are not going anywhere. Why do you think you are still here? It's the record company idea because they are worried about sales of tours and music sales".