(Completed) Jordan Is now has slowly recovered from the effects of the accident they had on tour last year. If he is really going to recover he will need to find that special someone so Jordan is then never alone.
I don't know how long I have been here alone and crying in my room. Everyone has left me alone especially after I shouted at them too. I can't believe this is happening. I look down at my leg, see the scars that mess up my leg. I wriggle my toes well some of them as my pinkie toe and the one next to don't anymore because of nerve damage. My left leg was slightly swollen. If it's gone then I never have to look at those scars. But if my self conscious is bad now with the scars and my body, how I am going to be with the leg not there anymore. I close my eyes and angrily hit the bed and scream. Next, I hear was the door squeak open and there was Donnie poking his head in.
"Are you alright J?".
When did they get here? I wondered. I shake my head.
" I am scared".
"Of what". Maybe Jon hasn't told them yet.
" They say if the infection in my tibia bone gets worse, I may lose my leg". He comes in the room but with care. Oh, Jon has told him about me shouting at him. "I have to use crutches for a month and have another operation because the reason my leg gives out is the fact that my knee isn't sitting right and it pops out. Why me? Why is nothing going right for me but everyone else is OK? It's not fair".
" It will be alright J".
"How can it? I'm going to lose my leg. I know it. What do I do then? I can't dance if I can't walk". I roll over away from him and pull my hands to my face " My career is over".
"No, it's not J".
" How do you know?".
"Because I know you. You wouldn't just give up. You would battle on. Like you did with your solo career. You battled on trying to make it work. Even with all your problems with anxiety at the start of it. It affected your performances and singing but you battled through it. You have battled through depression, fear, two eating disorders, alcoholism several times and the accident with everything around that. You did it then. You can now. I believe in you. You know all of us would help you too". I looked away trying not to look at him. I knew he was right. I would never give up but that was the old me. Me now not so much.
The nurse came in to give sort my intravenous drip full of antibiotics. I started to feel a little drowsy as they start going into my bloodstream but that's the pain medication going through as well. I am stuck here for a couple of days for the antibiotics to start working.
They pushed back the Amsterdam gig only as far as they can without causing the rest to go back. So if I am still in the hospital they will have to do the gig without me. I got angry with that. They tried to reason with me because the next one was Paris. They needed time to get everything there.
I was going nowhere with an IV drip in my hand pumping antibiotics into me for a bone infection. And feeling groggy because of it. I was still not happy if I miss the gig though. Then there are the crutches again and the plastic boot which I have to wear to walk to support the leg.
" You concentrate on getting better. Leave the rest to us, OK" replied Donnie placing a hand on my shoulder "It will all be OK in the end". He gives me a bro hug before he leaves. Next in is Danny and gives me a bro hug too.
" You get better. Don't worry about the tour. You concentrate on you. We are here for you like always".
They are all coming in one by one. Joe comes in next a little less bouncy than normal. I think is a little scared in case I blow up. I give him a groggy smile as he slowly comes in. They are all being careful with me. I don't blame them as I would myself. At least the last time I was in a coma when they were thinking about me losing my leg.
"I going to miss you when you're stuck here. It's not going to be the same".
" I will be back soon. Don't worry. I am here for a while until this starts working". I lift my right hand with the drip in.
"I know. It stopped you mopping though". He grins at me. The cheeky bastard does to me every time. He gives me a Joey hug which lasts a long time. He is still hugging me when Jon walks in.
" Joe let go you suffocating my little brother there". He loves hugging people and sometimes he does it a little too hard. Joe leaves us, brothers, alone.
"I am so sorry" I replied.
"Don't worry about it" he replied "As you long you are OK. You get better. Stay strong as it will help you recover. I believe you in too. I heard what Donnie said to you. We are here for you. You won't be doing this alone". He gives a hug but not as long as Joe's. " Don't worry about the tour. You sort yourself out. Take as long as you need. OK, bro. I know you didn't mean it earlier. It was the shock of being told". He smiles at me. "You look tired go and get some rest". I nod and close my eyes " See you later bro". I hear him leave but I don't hear the last thing he said which lucky for him as he used the name I hate "Sleep well, Jordy".
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