We have been through five countries: Great Britain, Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Holland we are now on our 6th: France. I am starting to feel tired and been a bit stress out as I still can't get through a show without help. As I am tired I am stumbling and tripping on stage before the Amsterdam gig. I hope no one has noticed but I get anxious thinking about it. I talk to Caitlin every night before the show and text after the shows. I don't know where I'd be without her. She has been my light, my saviour. The old me has still not shone through yet only little bits of me have come through. There have been messages posted on our bands Facebook page of old photos and videos of me without no top or top pushed over my head showing my chest, with captions 'where did it go' 'we miss this show' 'will it be back'. What doesn't help is messages from two certain band members saying we are trying to get it back because it's better than ever. They did get a photo of the new me as the band calls it. Oh, really I don't want to do that anymore not now cos of my scar. I still think everyone will talk about it. The two jokers did pull up my shirt in front of everyone during one gig. They all got a live version of my new look.
I am standing on stage with crutches and the plastic boot on my foot and leg, waiting to go through the soundcheck as they now allow me there. I was slowly heading to exhaustion and everyone in the band was worried about me. I kept pushing them away and carry on trying to get better at performing like I used to be like. I have had a sore throat for a couple of days and again everyone was trying to get me to rest my voice and have been since the Amsterdam gig. It's always been a little weaker this tour mainly due to me having a breathing tube while in my coma. Every chance we have they all make sure I rest my voice. They keep giving me hot honey and lemon tea but it always has given me stomach problems, it makes me sick if I drink too much of it.
There I was trying to go through the dance routines while no one was there. I am singing softly in time with the steps. What I didn't know was my tired brain was mixing up the steps from one song to other. My body was trying to tell me to stop. I stumble just as Joe came on stage.
"Steady J " as he prevented me from falling flat on my face by grabbing me just in time.
"Thanks, Joe".
" Aren't you pushing yourself a little too much, J".
"No, I am not. I am fine" my voice sounding a bit scratchy because of my sore throat.
"How long have you been at it"
"Not long".
" You're lying cos you feel sweaty".
"Honest not long".
" You're not sick again are you?".
"A sore throat which you guys know about".
" Then you should be resting it".
"It's fine".
" Now it is but what about during the show? Or when you need to sing your higher notes".
"It will be fine".
" I am not sure J".
"You worry too much". I waved him off. I will be fine.
I should have listened to him then. But nope I didn't. The others soon joined us. They all looked at me as if I grew two heads again.
" Why are you all staring at me?".
"Why are you even here?"
"Soundcheck".
" No, you are to rest that voice of yours" replied Jon
"Nope, I am fine".
"You are to sit out".
"Go and sit over there now brother".
CZYTASZ
Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)
Fanfiction(Completed) Jordan Is now has slowly recovered from the effects of the accident they had on tour last year. If he is really going to recover he will need to find that special someone so Jordan is then never alone.
