After the operation 4

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" Hey what about me now?".
"What about me?".
"Am I cute". As I get up to go in for food.
"Nah you're handsome with a cute butt". And then she walks off leaving me there on my own.
" Hey" I moan "Leave my ass out of it"...

We were back on the decking once we were full of food. Yeah, I was pumped up with more pain meds. They make me feel funny. Caitlin looked at the package of them and told me that they are strong pain meds. I better be careful then. With me dosed up to the eyeball, we decided to sit in the couches in the corner of the decking. I was stretched out with my left leg propped up. Caitlin was sat up with my head in her lap. She was choosing which journal to read. Nobody has read those journals except me and the band family. My own family haven't only my medical records and reports plus the photos. My memory doesn't remember but there was a dispute between the management and record label with the company of the tour buses hence why we have my medical records and reports. I was told of it but was never a part of it mainly due to my PTSD and traumatic brain injury. I close my eyes to shut it out.

" Who's the blue one?".

"Huh," I say with my eyes closed.

"Who's the blue journal?".

" That's one is mine".

"I will read that one later" as she puts it down again and picks up the red one. Caitlin starts to read that one instead. Jon's journal.

"There is someone you may want to see" as Joe turned the laptop around. There on the screen were you, J "Jordan's only been here in the hospital for five days. It took them five days to find him. When he came in, he was barely alive. It was very touch and go. It still is now and he is in ICU. Jordan is in a medically induced coma to relieve a severe swelling on his brain. The doctors didn't want to risk your own injury. It was in your best interest not to tell you what with your panic disorder".

I tried to reach my hand to touch your face, Jordan on the screen. I had tears in my eyes which were free-flowing down my face. There was my little brother attached to all sorts of machines and a tube attached to you to help you breathe. I can't see much of your injuries. What I could see broke my heart. You see you weren't much of a heartthrob lying there. Your handsome face was battered and bruised. Your head was bandaged too.

I feel Caitlin move her hand because I'm dozing in the sun my eyes are closed but I can feel her move. I feel her hand move onto my shoulder and into my hair.

" You alright there Cait".

"Yeah J. Just reading about Jon said when he was told you were in the hospital".

" They didn't find me for 5 days".

"How come?".

" I wasn't on the bus when they came to rescue us from the wreckage. Because I was fifty feet under some of the wreckage".

"Oh, Jordan". She strokes my cheek lovingly.

"He looks more beaten up than we all did" I replied looking at him.

"That's because he went through the window. They couldn't find him as he wasn't even on the bus when they found us" said Donnie "He was under some of the wreckage. Jordan also has some other serious injuries, he shattered one of his legs like a piece of the bus pinned him down which includes damage to his abdomen. He may lose his leg, they aren't sure yet. He was severely dehydrated. He also lost a lot of blood. Someone looked out for him. The doctor said he is lucky as they thought he was dead when they found him".

"I want to see him, NOW. PLEASE LET ME SEE JORDAN. He's my little brother. He can't be on his own. He shouldn't be alone". I tried to move. Joe put his hand on my chest and shook his head.

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