At the Strand of Nightmares

I should probably fuck myself at this point

Current listening pleasure: To the Bone- Steven Wilson

Hmm... I have mixed feeling about this album. On one hand, I really do love the sound of it, and I appreciate Steven being true to his musical self, but it isn't exactly super proggy and overblown.... like I tend to fancy XD

Ah, well... good music is good music.

So, here's the deal:

Tomorrow I'm going up to my college at 9:30 to practice on their organ for a couple of hours, and then I'll be going for lunch with my friend. Afterward I have class, and then a two hour break that I'll probably practice piano in, and then more class until 10:00 at night.

Pretty busy, but good busy.

The truth of the matter is I feel legitimately really shitty right now but that doesn't matter so I'm going to attempt to tell you the story of what's been going down for the past couple of days without ranting on about whatever emotional shit I end up going on about.

1. I had my welcome weekend over the weekend.... and that was fun.

By midday Saturday, a couple of friends I'd made and myself literally just baled on actually attending the events of the welcome weekend, and we hung out in one of their dorms.

A little after nine o'clock, my mom is all like, "aNn WhEn YoU wAnNa GeT pIcKeD uP?"

It was in that moment when I decided I just need to find a friend who lives on campus who will let me hide out in their dorm overnight... basically ditch living at my parents' place altogether somehow XD that'd be fun.

2. I went to student convocation with my parents on Sunday, and Nick was there... after the ceremony was done with, I just kind of went off and started talking with Nick for like two hours...

The most cringeworthy part was 70% of that was in front of my parents.

Apparently they really like him... most interesting.

There's a few guys besides Nick I've already run into that seem interesting. Ironically none of the girls really interest me in any way other than simply being friends...

Ugh... I don't know how I feel, or how I should feel! Obviously I didn't come to college to meet dating material, but I'll be honest, that side of me has been repressed for so long, the moment it was freed, I went insane.

AND THAT'S HOW I DECIDED I'M JUST GOING TO BE A SLUT.

Ha... I'm clearly pretty emotionally fucked up right now, though, so take anything I'd say on this matter with a grain of salt.

3. Today I had my final piano lesson with my childhood piano teacher... so that was super emotional for me.

4. I also had my first organ lesson with my new organ Professor... TBH, he's a breath of fresh air after years of working with the Organ Bitch™.

5. Also worked out my times for my piano class and the weekday masses that I SOMEHOW got roped into doing.

I feel like I just need a break from the Catholic Church, man. I'm so inundated with it 24/7......

I don't believe in the Church anymore...

I feel like I've been fed lies, hate, judgements, and hypocrisy.

I have no clue how the hell I'm supposed to work as a music minister for the rest of my life... I swear, being a professor of music theory/music history/musicology HAS TO work out.

6. I have my court date for this bullshit misdemeanor in two days.

Literally someone please just kill me...

AND THAT IS IT

Maybe I'll be back in a couple of days, maybe I won't.

Maybe I'll even be back in an hour or so after looking at memes on ifunny,

Who knows... not I.