Chapter 4 Sharp Tongue

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After consoling my sister, I was back into my room. I threw my bag and that box aside and lay on my bed. I took a deep breath, "Today was a long day," I can't believe someone likes me, ignoring the fact that that someone is Brandon Johnson, this is the first time someone has liked me. How should I be reacting? I mean, I do want to know what it feels like to love someone but "CAN'T THAT SOMEONE BE A GIRL?! WHAT THE FUCK!"

My first confession is from a guy. I was ready for the worst but nothing this bad. And he's not just any guy, he's a drag and drama prince of the school. I hate drama. I don't like him even as a person. I like someone else. Guys, there's this brunette girl named Elizzie Brown. I've had a crush on her since middle school. Although I've never really had a conversation with her, I wish I had. She's so small and cute. I really like small and cute things.

You know guys, I never had any friends. Like ever! Because whenever someone gets close to me, I say what;s on my mind and then they hate me. People like you when you're honest. But when you're honest with them, you just become an asshole. So, I can safely say that I'm pretty much a loner since birth. Even my on sister doesn't like me and she is embarrassed to have me around. Mom mostly seems to favor Anna over everything. Sometimes I feel like, I wasn't wanted.

There should have been just an Anna. 
Because of our rare genetic condition, the doctors mistook me for a girl and mom and dad decided our names beforehand. Kate and Anna. Kate was supposed to be a girl. So, I guess I let everyone down the moment I was born. And that hasn't changed with time. I still let everyone down. You guys are going to be disappointed too.

"You should love yourself the way I love you,"

How can I love myself when nobody loves me?
Brandon Johnson, you don't love me. You're just bored. You're not the first bored person I've met. Truth is, I can't love anyone. Because I have never received love so I don't know how you love someone. I wasn't made for it.

The black box fell down from my table on the floor. I stared at it for a while and got up. I took it and sat on the carpet. Let me just see if this works. I've given so many chances to other products so let me give a chance to this. So, first cleanser, I guess that's what you call it? Yeah. I clipped my bangs on my head and looked into the mirror. Alright bitches, we looking ugly check. Now, let's start. I washed my face and the patted it try with a towel. Then I sprayed the toner. Then essence, right? Yeah, then serum. I sniffed it, "Hmm, smells metallic, what is this?" Vitamin C serum, okay and what is this—Niacinamide. It took me a minute to pronounce it correctly. You know, fuck Chemistry.

So, finally I put moisturizer. And I think I don't need sunscreen because I'm going to bed after this. I'm tired. I threw myself on my bed and looked at the air conditioner. 

My life theory is 'No friends, no trends, no love, Kate's above all troves!'

I mean, it's bad. And if it's bad it's bad, it's bad it's bad.
I'm critically high. I should go to bed now.

So, I didn't have dinner that night and woke up at three in the morning. I ate some leftovers from the fridge and some chips. I drank some milkshake and looked at the clock. It was about to be four. Well, school starts at eight. I still got time, let me sleep for another two hours. I went back to bed and looked at my phone. No missed calls, no messages. Who am I even kidding? I only have my family's phone numbers in my twentieth century phone. I had nothing else to do so I just slept. When I opened my eyes, it was 7:40. 

Bruh.

"MOM! WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP?!" I shouted as I washed my face with soap and washed my hair in the sinḳ.
"What? I thought you went to school with Anna?"
"WHERE IS MY PURPLE SHAMPOO?!"
"Anna has it." I just washed my hair with soap again and this time it ended up green. FUCK—CURSE THE BLONDE GODS!

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