All I Want Is You Baby (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 61 Ryan Nolan

"Hey, is this seat empty?" 
It all started from there.
I looked up at him. We were like ten. I wasn't into Gothic culture yet and he wasn't trans yet.

He had an Irish accent and a sweet voice. Very small, narrow, blue eyes, slightly upturned nose, high cheekbones, olive skin and dark brown hair. I should have told him no but his eyes couldn't let me say no to him. Never.

"Yes, it is," I replied.
"Jammy!" He sat beside me and kept his bag on the desk, "Ryan is ainm dom. Cad is ainm duit?"
"Pardon?" 
"Oh, sorry. I forgot I'm not home," He laughed, "My name's Ryan Nolan! What's yours?"
"I am Malcolm Bevery," I replied.

Nolan was kinda, 

"Howya Malcolm! We've got shenanagans coming up, its time to pull your socks up! Not throwing shapes but I worked like hell and I'm upto ninety!"
(Tn// Irish slang: Hello Malcolm! We've got events coming up, it's time work hard. Not bragging but I've worked very hard and I'm about to explode!)

Kinda different from us Americans.

"That's my twin, Chelsea! She's just acting like a maggot as usual," (Tn// Irish slang: Acting foolish)
His slangs were different from American slangs and that made kind of a gap between both groups. At one side, there were the Nolans and I, and on the other side were all my American friends.

I liked Ryan more than those jerks.
"They are all cute hoors," (Tn// Untrustworthy) He would say. Him, Chelsea and I would spend a lot of time together. It was nice being with him. It felt like home. His mom baked delicious cookies and Irish dishes. We would take his dog on a walk together by the park, we would eat together at his place since my family usually wasn't there with me. I loved writing songs with him. I would sing everything he wrote. We entered high school together. By then, we both had grown. My voice was much deeper or as Chelsea called it "sexy"

Nolan's voice went deeper too. It wasn't gentle anymore, it was hoarse and crackly like any growing fifteen year old Irishman. We met Louise and MJ and started a band with them. Louise wasn't that buffed up back then, he was pretty meek and had a shrill fourteen year old white boy voice. MJ was super short too, like five two. Ryan was on bass, Louise on drums, MJ on guitar and Chelsea and I were the vocalists but I also played the keyboard. 

Then, slowly Ryan changed. He seemed distant. He wouldn't talk to me. We stopped hanging out. Chelsea told me he talked to her just like he usually did. Then, why be so distant with me?

I told him I felt lonely. We had a deep conversation but the beach at night. I thought that conversation would fix our marred bond but it wasn't like before. He did talk to me, but he only talked about me getting a girlfriend. He was trying to set me up with someone, so that I would leave him alone. 

But you know, when you have a crush on someone that you can't like, you set them up with other people and try to get them a girlfriend so it seems like you don't like them.

One day, I decided to talk it out with him. Because I was getting insecure of our friendship. I went to his place. Chelsea and his mom had gone for shopping so I thought it'd just be him and I which was good since that way we'd get some privacy. I entered his house and I found him in his mother's room.

I saw him wearing a brasserie and a skirt, standing before his mom's dressing table and applying makeup. He seemed happy but I was beyond disgusted so I decided to confront him.
"What the fuck is this, Ryan?" I asked. He dropped the lipstick and quickly turned towards me.
"Malcolm! What are you doing here?" He was not expecting me. I looked into his eyes and he looked down in embarrassment.

"That thing is for girls. Guys aren't supposed to wear that shit," I made no effort in conceiving my anger and disgust.

"I know."
"AND WIPE THAT SHIT OFF OF YOUR FACE, DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK! YOU'RE NOT A GIRL!"
"But I wanna be girl!"
"But you're not a girl!"
"BUT I WANNA BE!"