Scott doesn't want this relationship. Those words keep replaying in my mind; they disappear whenever he's kissing me or holding me, but whenever we're around other people, the words echo in the back of my mind again.
It's been four months since Scott and I started dating, but it didn't feel this way. We aren't a couple until we're behind closed doors. It drives me insane. At this point I really am not sure if Scott actually wants to be with me or not. I've never spoken to him about it yet; I'm not really sure how to bring it up in a conversation.
Hey Scott, are you sure you want to date me? Am I wasting my time here? Are you ashamed of being with me?
Yes, I'd rather say nothing at all.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I'm seated in between Stiles and Liam- both of them are unable to sit still. Scott is sitting on the other side of the living room. We make eye contact now and then, but it's different. Here, I'm nothing but a friend. In my bedroom, we're inseparable lovers. I don't understand why he wants to keep it away from our friends, but as long as he doesn't say anything to them, I won't either.
I take out my cell phone to see that it's already after midnight. I stand up from my place on the sofa, everybody looks at me.
"I have to go, it's late." I look at each of them, except Scott.
"Need a ride?" Stiles offers. I'm about to accept, but Scott interrupts us.
"I'll take her home." He stands up too. I internally let out a deep groan. I have no energy for the friends to lovers transition I am about to experience. I mouth a small 'okay' and say my last goodbyes.
We leave Stiles' house and climb into Scott's car. He starts the engine then places his right hand on my knee, the other remains on the steering wheel. It takes everything in me to not move it away. I don't exactly know why, but this whole situation seems to bother me a lot more tonight than it usually does.
Thankfully it's not a long drive before we reach my home. I reach to open the car door and Scott's grip on my knee gets a little tighter. I turn to face him. He leans in for a kiss, but I quickly turn my head and feel his lips against my cheek instead. He pulls away in surprise.
He laughs, "okay?" When I don't giggle or even smile back, he stops. "You okay?"
This is my chance. I turn my body so that my shoulder is pressed against the leather seat. "Why are you keeping us a secret Scott?"
I can see that he knows exactly what I'm trying to say to him. He looks away, saying nothing.
I carry on, "don't you want this relationship?" I ask, my voice cracking at the end. He immediately looks back at me.
"Of course I want this! Y/N, I love you." He reaches for my hands, but I don't let him hold them.
"Well it really doesn't feel like it!" I raise my voice without even realizing. He flinches slightly.
He rubs his face, "I didn't think you cared about everyone knowing if we're together or not."
"I don't! But our friends, Scott, we're not even telling the people closest to us! I'm not sure what exactly I mean to you anymore-"
He cuts me off, "what do you mean?"
"You're not serious about this- about us."
"I can't believe you're saying this." He lets out a breathy laugh in disbelief.
"I can't do this anymore Scott. I don't want to." I open the door and get out, giving him no chance to say anything more. I shut the door and walk off, disappearing into my house and out of his sight.
He doesn't hesitate to drive off. I don't even realize that I'm crying until I feel a tear falling onto my hand. Was I being unreasonable?
The next day I find my own way to school. Usually, I depend on either Scott or Stiles, but today I am alone. I walk through the doors and make a direct beeline towards my locker. I'm halfway there when I hear a familiar voice call out my name. I wasn't expecting Scott and I to say a word to each other today.
I whirl my entire body around. He stands there, a few feet away, a wide smile plastered on his flawless face. He looks so beautiful that I feel as if my legs are about to give in at any moment.
"I love you Y/F/N." He says loud enough for everybody around us to hear. "I'm so in love with you and I have been for the past four months." I look around to see if anybody is listening; a wave of nerves hit me as I notice a lot of students, including our friends paying attention to what is going on.
He walks over to me, and without warning, presses his lips against mine. We're both smiling. The kiss is short, but wonderful.
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"I didn't think you'd let the entire Beacon Hills High School know about us." I laugh after the kiss breaks. His gesture was corny, but unexpected and sweeter than honey.
He laughs too, but then looks me straight in the eyes, his hands cupping my face, "I'd let the entire world know how much I love you Y/N, I hope you know that. I'm sorry for keeping this a secret for so long, I shouldn't have."
"And I'm sorry for reacting the way I did, it was wrong."
Scott opens his mouth to say something, but he's yanked backwards. I laugh when I see that Stiles is responsible. He looks at both of us.
"I fücking knew it." He says.
"How?" Scott and I say in unison.
"I wasn't gonna tell you guys, but let's just say I kind of assumed after I walked in on you having sex. It meant either you guys are dating, or the rest of us are just terrible at showing our friends appreciation." My eyes widen.
Stiles places one hand on my shoulder, and the other on Scott's. "I'm happy for you guys." He smiles at us and walks off. I feel as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, we no longer had to keep this a secret and I couldn't be happier.
