My Everything AG x you

This is what it is

After struggling to get Ari off of Jennette and taking her home you decided to give her a strict talk.

"Ari..."

"Don't"

"Why?"

"Cause she called me names and took you away from me and you didn't even try to defend me"

And by the last part of that sentence Ari was yelling at you.

"Ari I tried" but you really didn't even convince yourself that you did everything you could.

"Tried?. You keep making her come between us Y/N. You never choose me over her and yet I've never let you down before!!"

"What are you even talking about? I always choose you. And I always do what you want. But you can't even make me be happy in peace. Who are you? Cause you're not my Ari right now"

You have no idea why you just said 'MY ARI'.
You kinda just wanted to re ensure that she will always be there for you. Yet you're ruining her.

"Stay away from me Y/N, go back to Jennette"

"I don't wanna be with her, I wanna be with you"

"If you did, you wouldn't have made her come between us"

"Stop saying that..."

"Stop saying what!?"

"That I'm choosing her"

"But you are but you still don't see it. Stay. Away. From. Me"

"No"

"Excuse me?"

"No Ariana, I'm not gonna stay away from you. And you wanna know why? Cause you are my reason for living, you make me happy, you lift me up when I repeatedly throw myself at the ground, you are MY EVERYTHING. And I'm not letting that go."

"Then why are you with her"

You didn't answer. How are you supposed to answer that question anyway. And you just do what you do best. You started to cry and your anxiety came rushing in like a bull seeing red. And you ran up the stairs to Ari's room.

And your thoughts were 'what am I doing to myself?'.
You made your way to the bathroom and took out your razor. The one you use when you aren't sure what to do. And you made marks on your legs.

mark number one
Mark number two
Mark number three
Mark number four
Mark number five

But you still didn't feel numb enough. You watched all the blood and yet you didn't move.

Mark number six
Mark number seven

Your phone vibrates in you pocket and Ari's face  flashs on your lock screen. Soon followed by the callers face. Jennette.

The two people who hate each other, who loves you, who you love. They are the cause of this.

But you soon changed that thought to you being the cause of everything. And you went for another round.

Mark number eight
Mark number nine
Mark number ten

And by then you felt numb and you fell to the floor in a pool of your own blood.

Ari doesn't care enough to check on you. Jennette doesn't care enough to call again. Your brain doesn't care about your movements. You heart didn't care about anything. And yet your mind was all around the globe. You hated this day. It's so hard. How can this be?

You let out a small chuckle and then did what you knew you had to do to survive. You screamed Ari's name and held onto your head as it was a throbbing mess.

Ari came running in and of course she's cry. Cause that's all you ever do make everyone around you miserable.

"God babe what have you done? It's ok now I'm here, I'll take care of you" she says and you pass out. Gone.

*A/N*
So im crying as a finished writing this. I just made all my emotions spill though this. This is me right now. Lost without my best friend. I rely on her so much. I do have depression. But she keeps me from hurting myself.

Sorry if it sucks. I just really needed to write that. Just trying to stop feeling numb.