The Power Of A Rose

Space

Song for the chapter: Luna- Keep On

By the time I got tired, it was sun rise here. I was on some long road, surrounded by tall trees. I ran into them, wanting to sit down and rest for a bit. As I ran deeper into the woods, looking for a hidden spot, I heard a soft rushing noise. I think it was water.

The familiar smell of river made me run faster, eager to find it. A few seconds later, I think I found it.

A waterfall!

I smiled for the first time, achingly wanting to get in.

It was a medium waterfall, creating a pool of water down at the bottom. Rocks lining the edge of the natural pool.

I took my sweat drenched hoodie off, good thing it was long enough to cover my butt. Then I took my dirtied socks off. I feel so disgusting right now.

I dipped my hand in, smiling softly at the cool temperature. Sitting on one of the big rocks, I slowly dipped in.

"Ah..." I squealed. The water was so cold! The feeling of small rocks on my feet made me cringe.

I walked in more, it wasn't deep. It reached my collarbones. Everything was so beautiful, making me think of what I was running from.

I sighed, dipping my head back to wet my entire hair.

Lexi's probably at home now, wondering where I am. My entire family is probably wondering where I am. Panicked, scared, worried.

I shook my head.

Lets not think. I don't want to think! About me or anyone else!

I don't want to think about how much danger my family and friends are in now that I'm not there to defend them. I don't want to think about all the endless scenarios that could happen. This is what I'm talking about! I'm so paranoid! I'm worried about everything...

I don't want to think!

The setting suddenly darkened, I looked up to the sky, seeing clouds pass over the sun to create some shade.

I know what I did was right, letting the demon go. It would've been wrong to kill him. I gave him another chance and I hope he uses it well. My body shivered when I though back to what he made me do. It's the only thing he knows to do, I hope he uses this chance to learn. 

Stop thinking- stop thinking- stop thinking....

Leaves crunching caught my attention, I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. I could feel his presence besides it was only a matter of time before he had to take me back. 

If I could find my own way back I'd still be avoiding him.

I refused to face him, keeping my back toward him as I stared up at the sky. I closed my eyes, crossing my arms and resting them on top of surrounding rocks.

"Your life isn't just yours anymore. You live to help others, it's sacrifice. You know this."

"Don't lecture me!" I don't want to hear it.

This is tearing my mind to pieces. My moods go from happy to sad, giggly to frustrated, and loving to murderous. All in a matter of seconds. I'm tired of it. All of it...

I'm tired of having nightmares, tired of teleporting to different places every night. Tired of having my emotions manipulated, ripped to pieces, and skewed into everyone else's. Tired of having to lie, tired of seeing and fighting demons. Tired of everything.

Will I still fight? Yes, but I can't say I won't have a break down. I can't say I'll be mentally healthy. I'll fight to help the earth but I'm not fighting without a cost. Paying for a fight, I had no choice but to be in.