Hopelessly Devoted

[63] - The Aftermath

"He's here, again." 

I gripped onto the pillow tighter as Dylan's voice sounded. I blinked. Geez, it felt good to blink without tears. My eyes had gone dry with the amount of times I cried during the past 2 weeks.

Laying there, silently, stiff, my ears caught the sound of light footsteps in a rhythm as they floated up the stairs and towards my door. A small, sweet knock hit the door. I didn't move, because I already knew who it was.

The door creaked open slightly, "hey, Lena." 

"Hi," I replied back, monotonously. My voice was croaky. It was the first time I spoke since yesterday when he came to visit me.

"I brought you lunch," he offered as his steps came closer and closer. I reverted my eyes to him without moving my head and saw the smile he was showing. It was a sweet one, yet very weary. 

"I'm not hungry," I replied back as I lifted the sheets over my shoulders, watching tissues fall off the bed.

"Yes, you are," he replied, and took a seat beside me on the bed, "sit up for me, baby." His soft hand reached out to my head and gently patted down my bed hair. Slowly, I turned my head to face him. He hated seeing me like this, I could see it in his eyes. Every day for the past 2 weeks, Ethan came to visit me. He'd bring me food, sometimes presents. He'd sometimes just sit and talk with me for a few hours, or he'd just offer me some company while I ate. Or sometimes he'd just lay down with me, in silence, giving me a sense of sanity and security.

I pulled myself up slowly. I stretched out my arms and twisted my back. My pulled my hair into a low bun to make it a little more presentable. 

"Thanks," I whispered as I eyed the Burger King bag he passed over to me. He also passed a box of Dunkin Donuts, because he said he didn't know which I'd rather eat today. I offered him a small smile. I appreciated his visits, I did very much. It just gave me something to look forward to each day, something to keep my mind off my dad.

I miss him. I miss him so much. But I'm not going to think about it, because if I do then I'll just shut off again.

Ethan watched me as I ate a little bit, his eyes glistening from amusement.

I cleared my throat faintly, "so, how was your day?" I asked, glancing past his head at the mirror. I looked horrible. I felt horrible. My face was tight from all the wet tears, my eyelids were heavy. My face had lost all traces of color.

"It was alright," he shrugged, "Gray got this new video camera yesterday and he's been playing around with it. He's not very good, so I have to help him out."

I nodded, "what's the plan for the camera?" I asked.

"Filming things," he shrugged, looking down at his hands, "just something to do in our spare time. You know I love video production and stuff..." he trailed on.

Each word he spoke drifted my mindset further from the loss of my dad and more onto the right-here-right-now.

"Any plans on when you'll be back at school?" he asked, twisting his body a little more towards mine.

"I'll be back on Monday," I nodded, finishing the last of my food and placing it on my bedside table. I ran my fingers through my hair, my mind racing with thoughts. I then decided.

"Where are you going?" Ethan asked as he watched me climb out of the cocoon I made from my bed sheets, and walk towards my closet.

"We're going out," I sighed, finding an outfit, "someone needs to do the grocery shopping. I doubt it would be my mom, she hasn't left her room since."