Sunflower ---Post Malone

Better Now (Chapter Fifty Three)

Arizona's POV
**Flashback**

It's  now been a year since me and Austin ended and it's been a long year, I haven't seen Austin or Carrie since that night in the club and honestly it was well needed. I needed to not see him or her to start moving on. I'm now with Shawn and honestly he is a perfect human. Kind, caring, sweet, loving it still wasn't Austin but I was learning to deal.

Ari was right Austin was moving on and it was time for me to move on as well. Love seemed to no longer be an option. It came it went it left casualties and honestly I guess some people aren't meant to stay together forever. My guess is me and Austin were those two people who weren't meant for forever.

I'm not in a rush with Shawn we've really taken things slow we don't say I love you, we don't live together, shoot we don't even live in the same town. I think things with Austin went to fast that we crashed and I didn't want to feel that again.

I'm not sure if I will ever love someone the way I loved Austin he has a piece of my heart. I still love him I think I always will. I think the whole out of sight out of mind thing is working for me. I still love with Ari and I still tour with her which I love. Anytime we're home Swae is over which really helps, no one really talks about Austin which I appreciate.

My life was starting to be normal again which I really liked. Award season was circling around again which meant the Grammys were coming and I might run into him there since I was Shawn's date. I was dreading seeing him.  Sunflower is nominated for a Grammy so I know he will be there. And the fact that the song is written about me is a whole other story.

I'm currently sitting on the couch watching tv. We are off touring for a few days an I just wanted to chill. Ari was out with Tayla and I opted to stay home. So I was home alone and it was nice to feel okay being with myself. I haven't felt this way since the break up.

Since he moved on and I'm trying to it wasn't a break, it was a break up. I'm still upset that he lied to me when he said he wouldn't be with anyone during our break and a week later he had a girlfriend and it wasn't me. My phone dinged pulling me out of the tv show I was watching.

Jodi- we miss you, can we maybe get together for lunch one day? We don't have to talk about Austin I just miss you honey and I know rich does too. Plus we HATE Carrie. We still love you.

I smiled at my phone I loved his step mom and his dad they were always there for me.

Me- we can do lunch and I miss you guys too.

We set up a time and a place and I put my phone down. I decided to ignore the comment about Carrie. I wasn't trying to worry about her or Austin anymore. I turned the tv channel to a radio station so I could tart cleaning.

I didn't like the maid doing it so we decided to let her go. I hated having people do stuff for me and I was capable of cleaning a house. The radio was playing amazing songs and I was dancing along while I cleaned

After about a half hour I was now in the kitchen cleaning and hooked up the speaker turning on the radio in there. I had my hands covered in water and soap doing the dishes when the radio DJ came on to talk.

"This is a new one from Post Malone and we can only assume it's about his ex girlfriend Arizona. Hope you enjoy it." I froze.

I removed my hands from the water and jumped on the island sitting to listen. I know I shouldn't but I had to know what his new song was.

You know I say that I am better now, better now
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down

My eyes tested up at that part, I hated that he felt like he let me down, even though he did I hated that he felt that way. Hearing him say he's lying about being better hurts my heart, if he wasn't over me he shouldn't have moved on.

We were looking forward to the rest of our lives

And that we were, we had a miscarriage together and planned on having a family when we were ready and that hope is now gone.

I seen you with your other dude
He seemed like he was pretty cool
I was so broken over you
Life, it goes on, what can you do?
I just wonder what it's gonna take
Another foreign or a bigger chain
Because no matter how my life has changed
I keep on looking back on better days

I really appreciated that he didn't go at Shawn in a bad way. Shawn wasn't a bad guy and it was Austin's fault that we met in the first place. My heart was having a hard time listening to the song. But he was right life goes on. But I think he was wrong about the what can you do because I feel like he just gave up on us.

The song finishes and I just sit kinda of froze. After that I didn't feel like cleaning anymore and I decided I wanted a nap. I walked upstairs and plopped down on my bed getting under the blanket and closed my eyes. Before I feel asleep I started looking back on better days with Austin.