Eloise Malfoy finally escapes the prison that is Malfoy Manor as she embarks on her time in Hogwarts. Immediately hitting it off with pranksters James Potter and Sirius Black, things don't seem like they'll go as smoothly as Eloise would've hoped.
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"Lou, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do any of it...i-it repulsed me to actually think that it was me in that situation. P-please look at me, Lou...please." Sirius walked to the window of the Marauders' dorm that Eloise was looking out of. "Lou...please forgive me." he whispered, "I'd do anything to take it back-"
"But you can't." Eloise deadpanned,
"Eloise, please. It wasn't me! That wasn't me!"
"But it was you!" Eloise turned to face Sirius, giving him of a full view of the tear tracks on her face and her a view of the sorrow on his, "It was you that was stood there, in the corner, snogging Daisy fucking Maple." her voice cracked and Sirius wanted nothing more than to reach out to her, "And yeah, it's selfish because it's not your fault. But I can't get that image out of my head...of you and her and-" she stopped herself, choking on her tears as she began to turn around again but Sirius reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her,
"I can't even begin to imagine how you feel." he choked out, tears gathering in his eyes, "If that was you-" he shook his head and closed his eyes tightly, "But I love you, Eloise. I love you so much and if I was aware of that- none of that would've ever happened." he pleaded with her but she refused to look up and meet his eye,
"But it did happen." she whispered,
"Eloise-"
"It did happen and I watched it." she looked up, her hazel eyes boring into his grey eyes. Remorse meeting devastation. Pain meeting pain. "And it hurt like nothing has ever hurt me before."
"I'm sorry." Sirius choked out, "But please, let me make it up to you." she pulled her hand out of his grasp, he reached out for her but she took a step back,
"I think we need-"
"No."
"Sirius, I need a break-"
"No!" Sirius gripped her hand once more, "Please don't do this! P-please don't do this to me." he sobbed, allowing the tears to escape and paint lines on his cheeks,
"I have to."
"N-no you don't! Please, there has to be another way to get through this. I c-can't deal with this."
"Sirius-"
"Eloise, Eloise I'm begging you. There has to be something else that we can do, please." he choked on a sob and Eloise felt her heart rip at the sight of his distraught face,
"This is hard for me too-"
"Then don't! Please don't! Eloise, I love you. Please...don't leave me...don't leave me." Sirius fell backwards to sit on his bed and placed his head in his hands, crying heavily. Eloise's vision clouded with her unfallen tears and she wondered how anyone could ever do this, how anyone could ever break up with someone they love so much. She took a shuddering breath and turned to walk out of the door, "Eloise!" she heard footsteps and soon enough Sirius was stood in front of her, "I'm begging you-"
"I need time, Sirius." she whispered and she looked up from the floor, "I just need time."
~~~
It had been a week into Eloise's 'time' and she wasn't fairing well. Sirius was constantly on her mind, though as time progressed, it wasn't the image of him and Daisy anymore. It was just him. Whether it be his breathtaking smile; the way he flipped his hair whenever it got in the way; or how he would always look at her with his face alight, as if she was the reason for his happiness. She found herself picturing him more times than she could count and each time it was like she was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest. She missed him more than she thought it possible to miss anyone...and there was only a wall between them. She took to spending all of her time curled up in bed, wearing one of his hoodies and absentmindedly stroking her swollen stomach. The time that she missed him most was when she had found the perfect name for if it was a girl. She was about to leap out of bed and tell him. She was already picturing the excited smile on his face when he agreed with how flawless the name would be for their little girl. But then it hit her...'she needed time' she had said. She was regretting it already. She wondered why she didn't just approach him and kiss him and tell him it was fine now. But it was because it wasn't fine. Everytime she caught a glimpse of anything that reminded her of that awful night, she felt the pain filling her up once more, the suffocating feeling of pure agony.
This was a feeling that Sirius was very familiar with at that moment in time. His day-to-day agenda didn't differ much to Eloise's: lying in bed; wallowing in his own torment as he stared up at the ceiling. He had taken to spraying the perfume that she had left in the bathroom around the room just so he could smell her. 'You. Are. Pathetic.' he thought to himself as he found one of her shirts and let a tear fall onto his cheek. He had never been so affected by anything in his whole life...and he'd had a hard life. He would struggle to fall asleep without his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. He would struggle to wake up without the feeling of her breath fanning onto his skin. He could hardly shower without thinking about how often she would steal his shaving cream and squirt it all over him, her tinkling laugh filling the room. He was overcome with loneliness and he was beyond grateful that at least James wasn't resenting him. In fact, James was trying desperately to get his sister to talk to the devastated boy.
"Belle...he's broken." he had told her when he went to visit her in her room, "I've never seen him so upset. Or you for that matter...why don't you just talk to him?"
"I don't know." Eloise answered honestly,
"Do you trust him?"
"Yes."
"Do you miss him?"
"Yes."
"Do you love him?"
"More than anything."
"Then what's stopping you?"
"The pain."
The pain. The overwhelming pain that they both felt at the absence of one another. A pain that would only be subsided by their rekindling. But Eloise 'needed time'. She needed time to process what had happened and to accept it. To accept that it happened and that nothing will change that. To accept that it wasn't Sirius' fault and to accept that he was in pain too. To accept that they loved each other, and their separation wasn't benefiting either of them in the slightest. It sounded easy enough. But Eloise hadn't done any of that yet, because she was too busy thinking about her own pain rather than everyone else's. Something that she would figure out on the first day of leaving her bed in a week. When she overheard a hushed conversation between Remus and James regarding Sirius' damaged state... and the dorm window's damaged state. Regarding the fact that Sirius Black was in the Hospital Wing with a ruined hand and it was entirely her fault.
