Chasing The Stars | Marauders | Sirius Black

115 ~ Fury and Grief

yes it's another sad one, i'm SORRY

Eloise and Sirius were lying in bed late one night. Eloise on her back and a smile gracing her features as she watched Sirius trace his fingers over her stomach, catching snippets of his quiet mutterings. She stroked his hair and sighed contently, giggling slightly as Sirius tried to tell the baby a joke.

"They can't hear you, Pup." she whispered, interrupting his hysterical laughter at his own joke,

"SHH! Yes he can." he pouted up at her and she smirked slightly as he dropped his head back down to her bump, "As I was saying before your mother rudely interrupted me...I'm going to be the call parent and I'm going to teach you to play Quidditch because Mummy is hopeless-"

Sirius' ramblings were cut off by the baby kicking,
"HA! He disagrees with you." Eloise giggled and ran a hand over stomach affectionately, "Mummy's little boy."

"More like suck up." Sirius sulked, moving off Eloise's chest and turning over in bed. Eloise nudged him with her foot but his response was but a small huff of annoyance. Eloise sat up and leant over him, poking and prodding his cheeks,

"Hey. Hey, Pads. Pads. Pads. Hey. Hey, Pads-"

Eloise's incessant jabbing was stopped by Sirius abruptly rolling over and his hands going to her sides, tickling her. She began to laugh and swatted at him to stop, to no avail as usual. Sirius grinned as Eloise's giggles bounced around the room and she squealed as she kicked her legs, "Stop! Sto-AH! Sirius! Haha, STOP!" she choked out and Sirius let go of her, flopping down beside her as he grinned at her,

"Learned your lesson?" he asked and Eloise nodded, breathing heavily,

"Being ticklish is a curse!" she threw her hands in the air an turned to look at Sirius, "And you only do it to hear me laugh because your so emotional and cute." she pinched his cheeks and squished them together. Sirius held her hands at the wrists and removed them from his face, placing them on his shoulders and putting his own on her waist,
"I can't deny that." he shrugged and Eloise grinned,

"Love you, you soppy shit."

"Love you more, you persuasive...willy." he smirked as Eloise gasped,

"I am not a willy!" she said, affronted,

"You are a willy." Sirius nodded and wrapped his arms properly around her waist, closing his eyes and exhaling through his nose. Eloise ran a hand through his hair and smiled as their legs tangled together. This, she thought, is perfection. Naturally, this is when it all went wrong.

~~~

Eloise and Sirius just had drifted to sleep when their darkness was disturbed by the loud crack of someone apparating into the room. They both woke up with a start and Sirius grabbed his wand, putting an arm protectively in front of Eloise as he lit the room with a spell. The couple were more than shocked to see a small and shriveled creature sobbing heavily on the floor. It's wails sounded around the room and Eloise was glad that Muffliato had been cast so that none of her family was woken up. Sirius tentatively got out of bed and tiptoed to where the little person - that Eloise now understood to be a house elf - was rocking back and forth on the floor.

"Kreacher...?" Sirius crouched down slowly and frowned at the elf. Grimacing slightly as Krecher looked up and faced him, tears streaming down his cheeks and pain etched into every inch of his wrinkled face. "Kreacher, what-"
"M-Master Regulus..." Kreacher trailed off, sobs wracking his small frame once more and he moved onto his stomach, slamming his frail fists against the carpet. Eloise felt her heart hammering against her chest as she shared a fearful look with Sirius. She pushed the covers off of her body and stood next to the anxious-looking Sirius,

"Kreacher...what about Regulus?" Sirius persisted and Kreacher's tantrum came to a halt as he looked up at Sirius and Eloise. His round eyes were still glistening with so-far unfallen tears as he swallowed heavily,

"He's dead."

~~~

"Sirius, please. Just sit down and let's talk about this." Eloise tried to stop Sirius from his pacing around the living room by placing her hands on his upper arms. He shrugged her off and sat on the sofa, placing his head in his hands. Eloise took a shuddering breath and placed a hand on her chest. She was feeling an overwhelming sense of grief, something she had scarcely felt before. She had lost Regulus. Her little Reginald. The little blue-eyed boy who had the sweetest smile and always a compliment to throw at the most unexpected yet needed moment...she'd never hear one of those again. She would never roll her eyes at his over-protectiveness. She would never slap him over the head for insulting Sirius. She would never hug him and pout when his chin rested on her head due to the height difference. She would never tease him with nicknames just to see his button nose scrunch up in annoyance. She would never see his icy blue eyes light up when he laughed. She would never see those same icy blue eyes widen with fear or swim with indignance. She would never see those icy blue eyes full stop. She would never see Reggie...her Reggie...and it broke her. But she could never show that - for Sirius.

James, who had been woken by Eloise along with Lily after they had told Kreacher to apparate back to the now empty Grimmauld Place, sat next to his best friend while Lily placed her arm around Eloise who was finally letting her tears flow freely. It was silent until they all heard a murmur emit from the sofa,

"He was fucking eighteen."

"Sirius..." Eloise choked out, reaching for him but he stood up suddenly, storming to the window,

"He was eighteen! Why did no one try to stop him?" he asked angrily to nobody in particular,

"Love, we did-"

"Well we didn't try hard enough!" he whipped around so Eloise had a clear view of the pure anguish lacing each of his features. The glistening tear tracks painting lines on his cheeks. The furrowed brow and the narrowed grey eyes that were a swirl storm of fury and grief. Sirius let out a growl as another tear slipped from his lashes and he pulled his arm back, launching a punch at the wall. Eloise rushed forward as Sirius cracked. He collapsed against the wall, crying heavily and raking his hands through his hair. Eloise wrapped her arms around his waist to try and steady him as they both sank to the floor. Sirius curled with his head in Eloise lap as she stroked his head, pressing soft kisses to his hair and whispering words of comfort. His hands gripped at the material of her shirt as he weeped. Eloise could hear the fractures of her heart breaking off as she cradled the ruined Sirius. Her own pain hidden as she did her best to soothe his tears. She cast a look to James who looked positively devastated at the state of Sirius. His sorrowful hazel eyes met with those of Eloise and she knew they were thinking the same thing. They were both imagining what it would be like if they were in Sirius' situation and it was their sibling that they were mourning...and both of them knew they wouldn't be able to bear it.