55: The One In The Pouring Rain

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TONI POV:

"Cheryl, I've been there for you, when no one else was!" I yell over the pouring rain. She looks away. "I love you Cheryl." She looks up at me. I move my wet hair out of my face. "I've loved you since the moment I told you you were sensational because you are!" I walk over to her. "You're not loveless, you're not deviant, ok? You're, sensational." I whisper to her again. "You're not the monster everyone makes you out to be." I take her hand. "I love you Toni, I-I I can't do this. Not now and maybe not ever." She whisper. "We went into this to fast, I can't do this not now. Not after Jason." She looks me in the eyes. "It's it's to soon." She cups my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." She whispers. I kiss her one last time before walk away. "I love you! Just remember that!" I get on my bike and drive to the trailer park. I get off my bike and knock on a door I haven't in months. The door slowly opens. "Toni." I look up at my grandfather. "You're back." He jokes. I look down. "Come in." He lets me in at we talk for a while about everything."So Cheryl broke up with you why?" He ask quietly. "Because she wasn't ready, we were going to fast, we needed to slowly down because she was still getting over her brother. I'm just worried there's more going on." That's when it hits me. "I have to go."

"Cheryl!" I call out. I almost trip over branch. I run over to a small light in the distance. "Cheryl!" She doesn't look at me. "I know you hate your mother! She's wrong! You're so much more than she makes you feel!" She finally looks back at me. "Cheryl you're the love of my life." She gets up at walks over to me. I look her right in the eye something else is going on, she's not there. "What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "Cheryl, it's ok." I watch as something in her mind changes, like she snaps out of whatever was going on inside her. "We need to go." She takes my hand and we run until we can't anymore. We end up at Sweetwater river. "What's going on?" My head starts to feel like. "You're dreaming." I look at Cheryl. "What? Nothing is making sense, where is is this going." I sit back. "Cheryl, I don't feel so good." I whisper. I fall into her arms. "You're ok. You were in a motorcycle accident trying to find me. I'm ok though, I'm at Thistle house with Nana Rose." She lies me on the floor. "What's happing to me?" I ask quietly. "You're ok." She moves hair out of my face. "I'm tired." She nods. "It's ok. You're going to be ok." My eyes slowly shut. Everything goes black, everything is quiet and peaceful. I'm in a white room. "Mom?"

I shoot up in a panic screaming. "Toni." I look over at Cheryl. "What just happened?" I ask quietly. "I thought- aren't we supposed to broken up, I thought I just died. Mom?" She holds my cheek. "You're ok. Take a deep breath." She whispers. "What happened?" I ask quietly. "I broke up with you and you came back telling me every reason we should get back together, you passed out so I brought you upstairs. I fell asleep before you woke up. It's like 3." I look at the clock on the side of her bed. "Mom." I whisper. "What are you talking about?" Cheryl makes me look at her. "I saw my mom for the first time in ten years. I-." I can't speak. "Toni your moms dead. She's been for ten years. What's going on?" She ask just as confused. "I was dying and you were there and we had a moment, I died a-a-a-and I saw my my my m-m-m-om? I-i-i-i I don't know." I lie down. I look down and realize I'm not wearing a shirt. "What the fuck?" She smiles. "I tried to put you in clothes but you move around a lot so I gave up." I smile softly. "Are we back together now? I'm confused." She nods. "Yeah, you talked some sense into me." She whispers. "So it's ok to kiss you?" She nods as I pull her into a kiss.

I sit down on the porch and stare out into the distance. The door slowly opens. "Toni." I look at my grandpa. "Hey." He pulls me closer. "How did yesterday go?" He ask quietly. "I don't know." I sit up and look at him. "I had this this dream, I saw mom." I whisper. He nods like he does that old wise man nod. You probably know what it is. "What did she say to you?" He ask quietly. "Nothing I woke up before I could talk to her!" I say almost crying. He holds my shoulders. "What does this mean?" I ask quietly. "When your mom died, she told me to take care of you, because she knew your father couldn't. Obviously." What does that have to do with any of this? "Where were you when you saw her?" He ask looking at me sadly. "It was like I died and I don't believe in god or anything like that but it was like I was in heaven." I whisper. "What was happening in this dream?" He ask quietly. "Everything and nothing at once. Me and Cheryl were at SweetWater and she told me I-I was in a motorcycle accident. And it happened." I tell him. "She was just trying tell you to get off that goddamn bike before you die!" I laughs. "No but seriously. She was probably trying to talk to you, and your brain probably panicked and you woke up." I nod. "Did you know my dad?" I ask quietly. He shakes his head. "No, we already talked about this." I nod. "I was just wondering if anything changed, because you've told me more stuff the older I've gotten." I say honestly. "I never met him, and your mom didn't know him. Come on I have some tea ready." He gets up and we drink tea and talk. "My love." I look to where I heard that and no one is there. "Toni. What's wrong?" He ask quietly. "No nothing." I brush it off. "I love you be safe." Mom.

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