TRUE COLORS

ARE YOU HAPPY?

POV SONG YI REN
For some months now, Dylan has been raising a kind of barrier between us.
Every time I try to hug him or touch him, he pulls away with a smile. And he’s changed... He’s less playful, less witty.
Shen Yue made her move. She seems innocent, but the girl is smart, she knows how to play. Well, then we can play in two... In fact, in three.

POV KIDO
Yue walked away from me, that’s clear. I talked to Yi Ren and the same thing happened with Dylan. Apparently the two of them decided to distance themselves from us to save their relationship. Well, I guess there’s not that much trust between them if they’re forced to set boundaries so they don’t break up. Still, it looks like Yue put up a much higher wall between her and me than Dylan. He keeps talking to Yi Ren, he doesn’t avoid her like the plague like Yue is doing with me... Anyway, now she and I are far from her love. Our Chinese Literature professor took us and our classmates to Beijing to take part in an important course of creative writing. We’ve been here three days, there are still two more. I’m ready to implement the plan.

POV YUE
Once back in the hotel, after the course, I walk to the girls' room, but someone takes me by the hand and drags me to another room.
"Hey!"
"Yueyue..."
"Kido! Are you crazy? You scared me!" I exclaim.
"Sorry! I just need to talk to you. Yue, I... Did I do something wrong? Did I offend you in any way?" Kido asks me, with a serious look.
"Don’t talk nonsense" I smile at him.
"It’s not nonsense! If I didn’t do anything wrong, why have you been treating me with such indifference for some months? I thought we were best friends..."
"Kido... I’m sorry... It’s just that there’s been some misunderstanding between me and Dylan recently, and I feel like I need to show him as much as possible that he doesn’t have to worry about anything and that he can trust me. I walked away from you for not to make him jealous... I had to... " I explain, feeling terribly guilty in front of his wounded look.
"So you chose him and you pushed me aside without even warning me. Wow" he murmurs.
"That’s not like this..."
"What’s it like, Yue? If you had told me about it, we would have dealt with it together and I would have avoided feeling so bad... Don’t you want me around anymore? Okay. Let me tell you one thing, though: maybe you two love each other, but sometimes love isn’t enough. If you’re forced to give up something important to be with him, then your story doesn’t make any sense. Today you have eliminated me, tomorrow who will be next? You can no longer have male friends just because he is jealous? And he may not have female friends because you are jealous? You guys are such a perfect couple, but the truth is, you act this way out of fear. And if you’re afraid, it means there’s no trust, that you’re not 100 percent sure of each other".
"I won’t let you talk like that" I say, angry.
"Why not? I hit a nerve? Maybe you forgot, but I was one of your best friends before you put me aside... I tell you these things because I care about you and I want you to be happy..."
Suddenly my phone starts ringing. It’s a video call from Dylan.

POV DYLAN
When Yue responds to the video call, her face is pale and she seems agitated.
In one corner of the screen, I see Kido. What’s going on?
D: Hey love! Everything okay?
Y: Hey! Yes, everything ok... And you? D: Me too. What are you doing?
Y: Oh, I was having a chat with Kido. D: Oh... Um... say hi to him.

I see Kido walk past her and walk out a door without saying a word. Yue calls him, she asks him to stay, but he doesn’t listen to her. Did they fight?

D: Shen yue, what happened?
Y: Nothing, I... I have to go. Oh, do me a favor! Jaqi asked me to bring her a photograph that I took to her a while ago. In the drawer in my desk there is an envelope... You’ll find it in there among other photos. Could you bring it to her as soon as you can?
D: Sure! But... Are you sure it’s okay? Did you and Kido fight? Is he bothering you? Don’t worry me.
Y: It’s okay, I just have to clear something up with him.
D: Is this about the rule we have imposed upon ourselves?
Y: Imposed?
D: Mmh?
Y: Do you see it as a positive or negative thing?
D: What do you mean?
Y: Since we put on that rule, that of detaching ourselves a little bit from Yi Ren and Kido, are you happier?
D: Well, you and I are quieter...
Y: But... ?
D: No "But".
Y: You are quieter, but not happier.
D: Shen Yue...
Y: Yi Ren is not well, right? You feel like you hurt her in some way and you feel guilty, right?
D: I don’t know, I...
Y: Would you like to hug her?
D: What?! No!
Y: I would like to hug Kido sometimes, when I see him sad.
D: My head is exploding! You made the rule and I’m trying so hard to follow it and now you’re telling me you want to hug someone else?!
Y: I didn’t make the rule! We made it! Because the situation was getting out of hand! And I'm sorry if I’m making you work so hard! Do you see that you are angry with me?!
D: I’m not mad at you! I’m just telling you that sometimes I struggle to be detached with Yi Ren. Like you struggle with Kido!
Y: Listen, I have to go... I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
D: Yes, go to Kido...
Y: Don’t be a child.
D: Me? I call you because I miss you and I find you in the middle of a drama with that idiot, then you make a scene for no reason and I’m the child?

She closes the video call. She drives me crazy when she does this. And now she’s running to Kido and like hell she’s going to follow the rule! I snap out of bed, I have to distract myself. I go to Yue’s room and I open the drawer to look for Jaqi’s photograph. In the envelope there are really a lot of photos... I browse the first to look for the right one... There’s a picture of a rainbow, a river, some frogs in a pond... and then... Liu Haoran. He's under a tree, it looks like he's in his garden, and he does funny poses. My stomach wriggles. Is that how they teach? I close the envelope and put it back in the drawer. I’m not going to see anything else. I’m tired. Tired.

POV YUE
I can’t find Kido anywhere. Damn! I leave the hotel and sit on a bench, taking my head in my hands. Did I exaggerate with Didi? I just... At this time, I don’t see him at ease. Didi is not someone you can control, you can’t limit his way of being, and that’s why the fact that he can’t be completely himself with Song Yi Ren doesn’t make him feel comfortable. I think back to the speech Kido gave me. Do I trust Didi? Does he trust me? Is it right to set limits and make other people suffer? My phone is ringing again. Didi...

D: Beautiful photos! You really like him as a subject!

He has a weird voice...

Y: What?
D: Liu Haoran. Beautiful photos! Do you always fool around when he teaches you?
Y: Are you drunk?
D: There were five pictures of that asshole!
Y: You’re drunk. We’ll talk tomorrow, Didi. Take a pill and get to bed, I’ll call you in the morning.
D: No! It’s not fair! I don’t want you to go to him anymore!
Y: Didi... Did you look at the other pictures?
D: Don’t change the subject!
Y: Are you home? Look at the other pictures. I’ll wait here.

He snorts and I hear noises in the background. After a few moments, his voice echoes... This time more calm.

D: Sorry...
Y: Did you count them? They're 103. 103 pictures of you. You while you're sleeping, you're laughingh, you're eating, you're studying , you're cooking...
D: I'm sorry my love, I freaked out... I... I’m sorry...
Y: It’s okay. Listen... I’ll come home tomorrow and we’ll talk, okay?
D: But your course... You still have two days...
Y: I don’t care.
D: Okay... I love you.
Y: I love you.

I close the call and I burst into tears.

Author's Corner
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