Heartless Monster

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Wife

I never thought that this would happen again. I woke up, and the first thing I saw was his brown eyes. I thought that it was a dream again; hindi naman na 'yun bago dahil ilang araw matapos ko noong mapagpasiyahang umalis ng bansa ay lagi ko siyang napapanaginipan. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba iyon sa pagbubuntis ko o dahil nasanay na akong nasa tabi ko siya kaya namimiss ko siya nang sobra.

I was still mesmerized by the sight of him when he tucked a few strands of my hair under my ear. Hindi na naman maawat sa pagwawala ang puso ko.

"Good morning."

His bedroom voice welcomed my ears. Agad akong umatras nang magsink in sa akin ang mga nangyayari.

"H-How..."

Hindi ko matuloy-tuloy ang sasabihin ko dahil sa pagkakabigla. Nakagat ko na lamang ang labi ko nang maalala ang mga nangyari kagabi.

Bakit dito ako natulog?!

I cleared my throat and immediately got out of bed. Inayos ko ang magulo kong buhok at damit. Shemay! Nakakahiya!

"Ahmmm..."

Wala akong maisip na sasabihin!

Tumalikod na lamang ako at tinungo ang pinto. Ayokong may magawa na naman ako na pagsisisihan ko lamang sa huli.

I was stopped from walking when he grabbed my wrist.

"Can we talk?" parang nag-aalangan pang saad niya.

Napatingin ako sa kamay niyang hawak ang palapulsuhan ko. Ano na naman ba? Bakit ganito ang mga ikinikilos niya? Naguguluhan na ako! Is this another one of his heartless ways? He pushes me when I tell him and let him feel that I love him, and then he pulls me when he notices me drifting away. Ano ba talaga? Dahil ako gulong-gulo na!

After all these years, the wall that I'd built to protect my heart was destroyed by him. He's doing it again! He is always my weakness.

Nilakasan ko ang loob ko at sinalubong ang kaniyang mga mata.

"Ano namang pag-uusapan natin?" seryoso kong tanong.

Kahit hindi na matigil sa pagtahip ang dibdib ko ay pilit ko pa ring sinalubong ang mga mata niya; kahit na mukhang bibigay na ang nanghihina kong mga tuhod dahil sa nangungusap niyang mga mata.

"Let's talk about us."

Those four words came at my wit's end. I wanted to make sure that this was reality and not a dream. I wanted to wake up and know the truth. My hand moved on its own; it met his face. My face turned cold when the loud sound of my hand slapping his face was heard from all four corners of the room. I can feel my hand stinging in pain, and I'm sure that it's as red as his face. The bright red mark was evident on his left cheek.

So it's real...

He was shocked, I'm sure of that. It was so evident from his reaction. His lips were slightly parted, and his hold on my wrist weakened.

Napaatras ako nang makita ko ang mga mata niya. It was mirrored by sadness, and it made him look like a lost puppy. Why does he look like he's the one hurting here?

Bitterness, agony, pain, sadness, and anger were raging from the deepest part of my body that I thought I had buried a long time ago.

Why did he need to say it like that? Why does he need to bring up the past? All in all, what does he mean? There was never been us in the beginning.

Tapos na ako sa phase ng pagiging assuming. Ayoko na, masakit. Nakakawala ng sarili.

Iniwaksi ko ang kamay ko at tuluyan niya na nga akong nabitawan.