Perpetual Rain ✓

My Memories

You couldn't tell them that the choice to not be there while they entered the light was your own. You couldn't tell them that it was you that was not strong enough to watch them go so closely. You were worried you'd stop him, you'd call the whole thing off out of fear. So you left, phased out to a spot just out of eyesight, hidden within the cold trees of the forest. 

Jimin went first, leaving Taehyung alone. You saw as he took a lasting look around and listened carefully to his last words that caused your heart to constrict. It felt like his hand was wrapped around it, holding it tightly with those endearing sweet final words. Your hand quickly flying over your mouth as you tried to contain yourself. 

You watched every second of his last moments here in limbo, all the way down to that beautiful box-shaped smile he held on his face as he faded away into the light. That tall frame you had admired dissipating right before your eyes into white nothingness before it too was gone. You leaned your back against the tree and hugged yourself with your free hand. 

It was done, it was over. He was gone, on to better things now, what you could only hope was a better life for him. Despite the feeling of accomplishment that you were able to give him something he had always wanted, you were in pain. The pain of missing him that was stronger than you could have imagined. You didn't regret it, you'd do it again, but that didn't make missing him any easier, it never would. 

Taking in a shaky breath you lowered your hand from your mouth that helped stifle your crying, you let the tree brace all of your weight. Looking up to the same sky he gazed at just moments before his disappearance. Those grey clouds swirling, as if alive. That falling rain that drizzled from the heavens slowly beginning to stop. 

Silence fell over the woods as the rain came to an end, it was as if it was officially signaling your new life as a reaper of death. Straightening your shoulders and sniffling back the last bit of your tears you stood tall. The time for wallowing was over now, you had a job to do. 

"You know... the deal you made with me is more or less impossible, don't you?" A voice finally ran out from beside you. Your head turning to meet Yoongi who stood there beside you in the forest, staring blankly ahead as he kept his hands clasped behind his back. 

"... I know." As all you could say. You knew from the minute you purposed the deal that the chances of you succeeding were basically zero. Likely, you wouldn't see Taehyung in three years, not five years, not ten. It was highly likely, you'd never see him again and you knew that from the start, but it didn't stop you. 

Yoongi's brows frowned as he looked your way, part of your bargaining chip was that your drive was going to be what would make you win this challenge. Now to hear, you knew you'd fail from the start, part of him questioned if he had just been played to lose two of his reapers. He looked both astonished and irritated. 

"Can't take it back now." You said as you raised your eyes to meet his gaze. Your voice now mimicking Death's own emotionless tone. "A deal is a deal, Death." Taking a step forward, you rounded the tree that had kept you grounded and stepped past Yoongi as you began to exit the forest. 

Tears gone, along with your emotions. You let them leave with Taehyung when he entered that portal. You did play death, tricked him into believing that you could do what it is you offered up just to get what you want. You didn't feel guilty for it, not one bit. In doing so, you set two souls free from purgatory, you liberated your lover and his best friend from the confines of this caged existence. In doing so, you tricked them as well. 

It was better for them never to have known that you had no realistic hope of returning to them one day, it was easier that way. Perhaps cold-hearted on your part, but what was done was done. Still, a deal was made and just because you knew your chances of success were slim to none didn't mean you didn't plan to give it a try, you owed it to them at least. Perhaps you'd surprise yourself in the end, perhaps you'd meet up with them in three years, but let's be realistic here. 

Even if you'd walk this land for eternity, even if you were forced to watch your love move on with another, watch your parents one day die, watch the world turn and change without you as you were one day forgotten in history, then that was the price to pay for happiness. The price to pay for his happiness. 

You started through the winding trees of that dimly light forest, the soggy ground beneath your feet would one day dry. The rain now nothing more then just water falling from the sky, it no longer haunted you of your death. You had accepted it, you accepted what you were now, what you had just become. You'd leave those tears in the soil for Taehyung, vowing to keep the rest to yourself for eternity if it meant that. 

Your mind drifted to your parents, you hoped they knew you had found your peace, even if it was short lived. You hoped your dad would be proud of you for committing yourself to a profession that you could only hope helped others. Your mother smiling at your selflessness. You would have made them proud.

The perpetual rain was over, the sun would rip through the skies again in a new day, a new era. You'd see the stars again and be reminded of what once was. You'd hold onto those memories, your time you had within your life with your family, and the love you had found within your death. You keep only those things close to your heart now, and you'd do your job as you had signed up for. 

You tricked death and fulfilled your mission.

You were a reaper now.