Where I Was Before You

65. birthday girl

*SEX SCENE* hahaha ;-)

When I wake up... it feels like I'm in a different dimension. A crazily different dimension. I'm not in my house, I'm not in my town, I'm not in my state, I'm not wearing clothes, and the man who's face I was staring into wasn't even from this century.

He didn't know I was staring at him. He was asleep, but I woke up early this morning. I woke up, and haven't moved. I've just stayed here, rethinking every single little detail. As if it were a movie that was stored away in my memories. A movie I watched when I was a kid and can't remember all the details. It's all fuzzy, all just a lot of screaming and... love... and lust. I remember how it felt when he breathed on my neck after he released himself, I remember him tracing his fingers along my stomach, I remember him being so turned on by me calling him daddy...

I chuckle and watch Freddie as he shifts, almost waking up. I don't want to wake him up. My sleeping prince. My love. I hope this was enough for you because it will always be enough for me... I hope you can look at me the same way. I think you're a god, Freddie Mercury. Not just an angel. If you're a god, can't I be your goddess? Can we rule together?

I blink and the tears, of course, pour down. But I don't frown, I smile. I smile that I did it, and I'm happy that I did. I look around on the floor and see all of our items of clothing scattered around. Including my lingerie, which seemed to work a treat. I look back at Freddie and see how beautifully the sheets just cascade off of him and follow the pattern of his back. I'm so glad... so disgusted and so f*cking relieved that I did it... I actually did it. I have him now. Right?

Freddie starts to shift again and I stay silent, but I guess it was time for him to wake up. He opens his beautiful eyes and I wait for them to catch mine. But of course, they trace my body first. I had left the covers off of me, and I was lying down on my stomach, just watching him. He sat up and stared at me so intensely I would have blushed. He looked scared or maybe confused. A bit of disbelief scattered in there. But I entirely knew why. I smiled and fell more in love with him...

"Morning Freddie," I said to him softly. His eyes finally meet my eyes and his fear melts away.

"Oh thank the Lord in Heaven! It wasn't just a dream!" Freddie moves in close to me and kisses me hard, so hard, like it's the last time he'll ever get to kiss me. I giggle but I know what it means. Freddie takes his hand and runs it down my arm, he looks me in the eyes and I catch a note of something I never had before. It was an invitation. I bite his lip and he kisses me again. I feel his beautiful lips run over mine again and again and I can't f*cking believe that this is happening. It's so f*cking perfect...

He lets go of me and looks down at my breasts hanging there. He catches me looking at him, and begins to laugh.

"What?" I press, smiling and blinking at him.

"Are you going to call me a pervert for looking at you?" I smile and a giggle effortlessly escapes my lips.

"I think after last night, I can't use the pervert excuse on you anymore..."

"Excuse?" He asks, intrigued. A face I love so much more now. So endlessly.

"Well, yeah. An excuse so that we wouldn't... y'know?" Fred looks even more intrigued, smiling, and sits up a little so he can look at me better. I bite my lip and try to pretend that I feel satisfied. I sigh, and stare deeper into his eyes. Following the waves and ribbons of his irises.

"If I called you a pervert, I thought it made it seem like I wasn't into it..." I smile and laugh at myself. What a stupid, naïve little girl I was. 'Little', being the main adjective there. I was all grown up now. So grown up. I was nowhere close to the shy, fragile, boring, pitiable girl I was 2 weeks ago. The girl who wasted away her life waving through windows. The girl who saw the world as an empty shell of what it once was. The girl who didn't think there was anything in life worth anything at all. Absolutely not worth living.