I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 21-sad girl

August 25th, 2019
Rachel's p/v
Growing up I always felt like the other women. My dad brought home so many girls, and I always felt so out of place. Obviously I didn't want my dad in that way, but I wanted his attention. I wanted a dad. I got stuck with a stranger.

Life is beautiful, but I really do doubt that statement sometimes. If life is beautiful, then why was my signature look bruises? If life is beautiful, why did I gravitate towards long sleeves and jeans? All my bruises are gone, but my scars on the inside aren't. Life isn't beautiful.

Tyler's p/v
"Ewwww. Your mother let you eat that?" Mary gives me a weird look.
"I was 1 dude, she didn't have a clue on parenting."
"Please tell me you're not going to let your future child eat strawberry covered mustard."
"To each their own, Mary." I look at Rachel. She has her head buried in her arms on her desk.
"Do you know why Rachel is sad?" I whisper.
"No. She probably got a bad grade on a test."
"Can you ask Darry if he knows anything? I would ask him my myself but I don't think I'm on his friend list."
"Darry accepts everyone on his friend list, that's just who he is. Why do you care about Rachel so much? She treats me poorly, we been knew."
"In all the weeks I met Rachel I've never seen her this down. Even when she's silent, she still has her head up high. I'm worried about her."
Mary sighs. "I suppose I can shoot Darry a text. But I'm only doing this to ease my curiosity. I could care less about Rachel."
"Let me know what he says."
"Will do."

Mary's p/v
No amount of Woody Allen films have prepared me for this situation. In fact, no romance movies have trained me for this, and I'm a film snob. It doesn't matter if Tyler still likes Rachel, he's mine. But I can't help myself but feel so angry at him. If he's just toying with my emotions then there's no use in continuing our relationship. I'll make him sure that he chose the right person. But I'll text Darry nonetheless, even if it tears me apart.
me: good morning darry, i couldn't help but notice rachel's moody appearance. in other words, she looks upset. now, i don't want to jump to conclusions, which is why i worded it that way, but i just wanna know if you know anything
juicebox: Good morning Mary, that's so formal of you hahahah. I almost didn't recognize your text. No, I don't know anything. She was a little quiet in the morning but I thought she was just tired. I'll ask what's up. Thank you for informing me.
mary: hahah i just wanted to try a diff style of texting you knoooow. anywayayay, i hope you enjoy your morning. lmk what she says
I put my phone on my desk.
"So? What did he say?"
"Darry has no clue either but he said he'll ask her."
"Hopefully she's ok."
I place my fist on the side of my forehead. "Yeah, same."

Rachel's p/v
I use to blame my dad's alcohol addiction on my lack of affection for him. Maybe if I told him I loved him more...or comforted him more after mom left us...maybe he wouldn't have had a reason to drink. All I ever wanted was to see him happy.

Darry started smoking at the age of 14. I remember one day he came home with a cigarette in his mouth. He told me he saw our dad hid a box inside a pot. Needless to say, Darry got a beating when our dad realized he was missing a cigarette. He wasn't mad that Darry was smoking, he was mad that Darry was smoking his cigarette. Soon after the beating Darry punched him in the face. I hit under the bed but they came into the room and fought there. I didn't know what to do so I just stayed there. I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. The nightmares that night were too real. I don't want to think about it anymore.

Tyler's p/v
Rachel is sitting underneath a tree all by herself. I really want to ask her what's wrong but we haven't talked to each other since the rally. I doubt she wants to see me. I don't think the reason she's sad is because of me, but I don't want to cause her any more trouble. That's why I'm not dating her.