I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 92-always

February 3rd, 2020
Rachel's p/v
I grab my concealer and apply it on my cheekbone. There, my bruise is gone. What am I going to do with the cut on my lip? Girly really stabbed my lip with her stiletto acrylic nail. Maybe if I wear a really dark red lipstick the cut will just disappear. Jasmine let me keep the lipstick I wore yesterday for my photo. That will do.

Ok, my face and neck are covered. I still don't know how I got away with all the bruises yesterday. Darry finally understands that he has to knock before he enters my room. I'm not sure if he knocked because I fell asleep right after I cleaned myself up, but he didn't discover my bruises so I think I'm in the clear.

Normally I would be jumping up and down because it's snowing, but this gloomy sky just isn't doing it for me. Quinn hates me so much that she sent her sister and friends to beat me up. Her and I were so close to fighting each other, did she just chicken out? I would feel good about myself whenever that was the case, but I just feel upset. I'm not going to keep this a secret though, I'm going to tell Declan. He won't let me down.

Maybe the cold is doing me a favor after all. I get to cover up all the bruises. White cropped sweater, blue puffy jacket, white mittens, beige pants, and my white filas. The only bag that matches is my Kanken. It's throwing off the outfit and now I'm sad again.

Mary's p/v
If my mother wants to replicate her early 20s then she shouldn't have had me. How selfish do you have to be to ignore your daughter's calls? I needed her support, I needed her warmth, but she let it go to voicemail. My father helped me calm down, but he doesn't really get it. "He doesn't go to your school anymore, he can't hurt you". No. Somehow him being far away makes things worse.

I tried to keep my outfit vibrant with earthy tones, but it feels like I'm wearing a mask. I would never show up to school in sweats, but tempted I am. I actually really like my outfit, just wish I could shine in it. I'm wearing a vintage 90s brown waffle-knit long sleeve top with flower detailing on the sleeves, dark brown jacket, dark green pants, dark brown platform shoes, and my beige tote bag with a graphic of Madonna on it. Maybe I should change. Nah, I'll be fine.

Rachel's p/v
"Hey sleepy head." Declan says as he sits next to me.
"Not sleepy, just thinking."
"About?"
I un-cup my hands from my cheeks. "Quinn. Something happened yesterday."
"What happened? Did you guys get into another argument?"
"I got into an argument, but with her sister. Declan, her sister and her friends beat me up. They only stopped once they saw that her mom drive past us."
"Holy shit, Rachel, are you ok?" He examines me.
"I covered myself in makeup. I got a bruise on my cheekbone, bruises on my neck, a cut on my lip, and painful scratches. Luckily, my nose isn't broken. All I got was a bloody nose.
"Does Darry know?"
"No. I fell asleep so he didn't see me when he got back home."
"Gosh, I'm so sorry. Quinn is just like Mary. Both of them have to bring other people into the drama."
"I didn't even recognize Quinn. She used to be so quiet and awkward. Now she's a betrayer."
"Surely you have something planned against her."
"I just want to move on from the situation. Quinn will see that I honestly don't give a shit about her anymore. That way she'll feel pressured to not give a shit either."
"But do you really believe in Quinn? I think you should report her sister."
"To who? The principle?"
"Yes, and her mom. I know what you're going to say; you don't want to be a snitch, but your safety is more important than anything."
"This happened out of school so the principle won't move his fingers one bit. And their mom is very protected of them. Whenever Quinn was bullied in 7th grade her mom would march to the office and demand a talk with the principle and the other mom. What happens to me? Their mom will be arguing against me because obviously Darry isn't going to stick up for me."
"How about you get a restraining order on her at school then? You should also avoid walking by yourself."
"I'm not going to change my routine because of her. She can beat me up all she wants, one day she'll get caught."
"Yeah, after your face is broken. Just avoid being alone for now, ok? I don't want you to get hurt."
"Do you want to be my bodyguard?"
"Aw heck yeah! I'll be the best bodyguard in all of America."
"That's youuuu!"
"Hi baby," Tyler kisses my cheek, "hi Declan."
"Hi."
"Hey angel. How did you sleep?"
Tyler sits next to me. "Pretty good. I went to bed early for once. No more late night Frank Sinatra concert videos."
"I can learn a thing or two from you. But same, I went to sleep early."
"Do you feel refreshed?"
"No, I'm still very tired. I need a nap."
"Awww. Here, get some rest." Tyler pats his shoulder. I scoot closer to him and lean my head against it.
"Well aren't you two the cutest. I'm going to go kick a tree now." Declan smiles and gets up.
"Yeah, we're definitely not hinting at you to leave."
"I'm not hinting at anything." I say. Tyler pinches my  cheeks.
"In reality I'm going to study for our math test. I have 10 minutes, I should be good."
"Wait, we have a test today?"
Declan let's out a laugh. Tyler smiles.
"Wait, so do we?"
"It's a 50 question test, Rachel. You didn't study?"
"No! What do you mean 50 questions? Since when?"
"You explain to her, Tyler. I got to memorize these formulas." Declan picks up his textbook and walks away.
"Tyler-"
"She announced it last week. You're doomed."
I frown. Tyler kisses my cheek. He then starts to laugh.
"What's so funny."
"You're just so endearing. How can anyone hate you?"
"Oh, you'd be surprised." I say in a low voice. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him.