I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 102-the promise

February 13th, 2020
Rachel's p/v
"Being second place to everything really hurt me. Darry implying that Aaron not talking to you but to me meant something was wrong honestly destroyed me. You are special, Mary. So when everyone was in New York because they're all so talented I was shattered. It lowered my confidence," I look down, "to the point where I wanted to kill myself."
"No, Rachel," Mary holds my hands, "everyone is special, including you. How can you forget that you sing beautifully and dance like a Goddess. Before Sara showed up again, I was genuinely in love with myself. I loved my outfits, my style, my friends, just everything about me. I lost all of that in a second. Photography was the only thing I had left. I think that's why I got caught up with trying to gate keep my posts. I'm not original and I don't know why I thought I was."
"Like you said, you were holding onto the last thing that you loved. I viewed you like a God. Whether you believe it or not, you are so fucking special and unique. And I'm not saying this out of a place of jealousy. It's a good thing."
"I don't feel special. The last few days were just not me. Jonathan kept putting this idea in my head that I was sooo original and sooo creative but I'm just another girl who loves taking pictures. He let it get to my head, but it's my fault for acting on it."
"Teach me photography and I'll teach you how to be more chill. You don't have to be uptight to seem untouchable. That just shows that you're afraid to be your true self."
"I'll try to follow your advice but it might be too late. So many people hate me."
"Like who?"
"Heath, Aiden, Bowie, literally everyone from show choir. I get it, I was so mean to you. But there's just no going back. And maybe I'm fine with that."
"But you and Bowie have been friends for so long."
"He unfollowed me with no explanation. If it was so easy for him to drop me then I'm not going to beg for his friendship back. I'm tired of begging."
"Do you say that because of what happened with Ben?"
"Yeah. He had no reason to hurt me. I don't even want to know his reasoning. Not like I can even get it, he wants nothing to do with me."
"That's me with Quinn only instead she had a reason."
"No, she didn't. She tried stealing Tyler away from you. What kind of friend is that?"
"I just had a bunch of fake ass people in my life. I know I can't talk because I sent the letters claiming to be Darry, but how could Sabrina spread that rumor about you? Sara I expected from, but Sabrina? My Sabrina? And Lauren is my queen but she tormented you so much. Crazy ex behavior."
"She wasn't all that bad. She protected and defended you when Darry didn't. I'm obsessed with that dude, but the way he treats you is so bad. Trust, he will be dealt with."
"Nothing anyone can do or say will fix his attitude towards me. He regrets adopting me. He regrets being my brother. Last night I was so fucking close to running away again. I'm glad I didn't because you and I got to understand each other, but man do I still want to leave his house."
"It's your guy's house, not just his. Don't listen to him, you know how stubborn he is. I'll knock some sense into him. You deserve better."
I look at my clock. "7 am already? We talked all night."
"Oh my God we did," she laughs, "and I don't regret it at all."
"Me neither. Do you want to take a picture together and break Instagram?"
"Yesss! Our phones will literally blow up and turn into pieces." She gets up from Darry's bed and takes off her Harley Davidson sweatshirt. She's wearing a burnt orange crop top. It looks good with her baggy jeans and black docs.
"It's hot in this room. You should take your hoodie off. Don't want to be drenched in the pic."
I look down at Tyler's hoodie. Umm.
"Awww, is that Tyler's? Keep it on!"
"It is his, but there's a good reason why I can't take it off."
"Yeah? What is it." She walks towards me. I slowly lift up my sleeve, revealing deep cuts. I lift up my other sleeve.
"Rachel, you didn't. Come here." She bends over and wraps her arms tightly around me. I close my eyes and fight back the tears. I'm ok now. Darry can't hurt me anymore.

Sebastian's p/v
I take a sip of my coffee. Heather's eyes light up.
"A sleepover."
"Huh?"
"A sleepover! If I want to win my friends back then I need to host a sleepover and force them to listen to me. But I'll be the host in secret. You're the mask."
"I don't think they'll buy it or even want to come to my thing. Drake, Heath, and Isiah are the only people I talk to in show choir. Rachel is chill, and so is Declan, but that's bout it."
"Then have one of them co-host! Tyler is so fucking possessive so Rachel is out of the running. Although, she would be good for the job. Everyone loves her."
"Drake is my pick. I'll pitch the idea to him. Should I leave you out of it?"
"I'm not sure. Does he know about me?"
"He does. You know how rumors fly. Dudes be talking and all."
She smiles. "You've talked to him about me?"
"I've only said positive things."
"I believe you. I can't wait for the sleepover."
"I can't wait to see you happy again."
"I already am. Your partner is very lucky to have you."
"Appreciate it but I'm single."
"Well them your future partner will be very lucky to have you. But I will protect you like an older sister."
I awkwardly smile and take another sip of my coffee. I'M GOING TO KMS.