I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 84- a thousand lifetimes

January 27th, 2020
Rachel's p/v
Declan enters his room. I sit up and rub my eyes. He is now sitting on the foot of his bed.
"How did you sleep?"
"Good, I guess. Woke up a couple of times but thankfully I had no nightmares."
"You should've woken me up. I know the best sleep aid techniques."
"I'm sure you do. I was tossing and turning a lot. Too many thoughts last night."
"They weren't bad ones, right?"
"No, I was only thinking about Darry. I don't want to see him ever again."
"My mom and I were discussing the situation. If you ever want to leave, our doors are always open. We can't adopt you, but just know that you're always welcomed."
"I still want Darry to be my guardian, but I don't think he wants to be mine."
"Nonsense, he loves you. But if things get tough again, please seek help. You don't deserve any type of neglect or abuse."
"I grew up with it, I can take it."
"But you shouldn't. You're worth so much, Rachel. Respect yourself."
"Of course, but I know how to defend myself. I just get really sensitive sometimes."
"Which is totally normal! I admire you a lot dude. You're literally my idol."
"And you're mine. I'm going to get ready now."
"Imma be in the living room. Thank gosh I don't have to make my bed for once."
I giggle. "It's Christmas!"
"I miss the snow. Merry Christmas, Rach."
"Merry Christmas, Declan.

Declan's sister was kind enough to let me borrow her jacket. I left the house last night in my Nirvana t-shirt, black long sleeve underneath, grey baggy sweatpants, and my white high top converse. I'm wearing her black zip up sweater. Fits me like a glove.

"I think I wanna have pizza and sandwiches. Typical white boy birthday party food." Declan laughs.
"I can bring board games if you want. I have monopoly and Jenga." I say.
"That would be perfect, thank you. The party can start at around 5:30. We can play video games and then eat. After that we go old school and play a bunch of board games. Then we cut the cake and just chill to some toons!"
"Who are you inviting?"
"I need to make a list." Declan pulls out his notebook.
"Do you want to borrow my cool new pen?"
"You mean my cool new pen?"
"Same thing." I sarcastically say.
"Yeah, I'll borrow it. Obviously you're going to be first on the list."
"Obviously." I repeat.
"It's going to be Cole, Christopher, Emmet, Henry, Danielle, Tyler, Bowie, Erica, Heath, Aiden, Kyle, Jasmine, Sage, and...."
"And?"
"Is it ok if I invite Jenna? I know she's Mary's friend but-"
"I don't mind. She defended me against Mary during the drama so her and I are chill."
"Cool, I'll invite her. I guess that's all."
"We got a nice list going. What else is there to plan?"
"I think that's it-"
"Rachel, are you ok, love? Come here!" Tyler hugs me.
"I'm ok, Tyler. I'm ok."
"Darry is so blind it's crazy. But are you, ok? You didn't hurt yourself or anything?" Tyler lifts up my sleeves.
"Hey hey, I'm ok. See! No harm done."
Tyler hugs me again. "You had me worried sick, sunshine."
"It wasn't my intention, I'm sorry-"
"No, no don't apologize, you did nothing wrong. Can I please never let you go?"
"But we have math-"
"I'll carry you to math. I will do anything for you."
I stand up and hug him. "I love you, angel."
Tyler turns around, turning me the other way. "Hey Declan, I have-hey where did he go?"
"I didn't see him leave. He's a sneaky raccoon."
"Probably didn't wanna be a third wheel. Now, where were we?"
The bell rings. I grab his hands. "Let's go, we've got a test to fail."
"We can miss the test, it's only worth like half of our grade."
"Half? I thought it was just by a few points?"
"I'm kidding, love! But who even needs geometry? I definitely don't."
"But I do. Vamonos."
"Let me carry you at least."
"You wouldn't-"
Tyler picks me up bride style. Not surprised anymore.
"I'm buying you a drink from the vending
machine." I say.
"Sounds like a deal. Me carrying you like this is foreshadowing the future, right?"
I smile. "Let's pass the math test first."

Darry's p/v
"How do you feel?"
"A lot better thanks to you. I don't know what I would've done."
Mary and I sit down on the bench. She gracefully lays her head against my shoulder.
"Everything is getting harder. But I'm glad to have you by my side."
"I'm always here for you. Always."
"Can I see that photo I took of you this morning?"
"Why?"
"Because you looked really pretty."
I hand her my phone. She smiles. "White t-shirt, fake cigarette, and your new necklace."
I awkwardly smile. "Yeah, fake cigarette."