Quick Author's Note: The original has a lot of inappropriate things in it, so I will not be linking it. This is based on Left Brain, Right Brain by Bo Burnham, so you can look it up if you want, but I'm warning you it is inappropriate. This is changed a lot to properly reflect Tina. (What am I doing with my life? Oh my gosh.) Anyways! Please Enjoy this random whatever-it-is! Also, I am posting this early. It is meant to be tomorrow's chapter, but I'm going to be super busy tomorrow, so instead, I am posting it today! Enjoy!
"Hello Patient 050300." (Author's Note: I imagine the voice sounds a bit like Sabre's voice, but more like a robot.)
"I'm sorry, hello. How-"
"How are you feeling?"
"You know, not very great..."
"Has the treatment been working?"
"Uhh, no. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been working."
"What are your remaining symptoms?"
"I just, I internalize my feelings a lot. I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people. I feel like I just, I'm—
"So basically, you're still a sociopath."
"Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice way up there. Everyone's a sociopath. Haha, very funny."
"I was just joking, Yandere."
"Listen, it's not okay to call people out like that-"
"I'm not human, I can say whatever I want, brat."
"Alright, just-just get to the point, what's wrong with me?"
"Your emotion and logic are at war, your creativity and analysis are at war, and, most simply, your left and right brain are at war."
"My left brain and my right-"
"To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other."
"Separate? What do you-"
"Splitting your neurological functions in: 5... 4..."
"Wait, shouldn't we book an appointment or something?"
"3... 2..."
"You don't just start counting down to major medical procedures!"
"1... This may hurt a bit."
"Wait, what are we doing! Can't we discuss this first-Aaaaaaah!!!"
"Isolation complete."
"This is Tina's Left Brain: Objective, logical, cold, analytical, aware of patterns, aware of trends. He's efficient." The computer paused. "And a show-off." (Author's Note: Left Brain is Unicorn Mann.)
"This is Tina's Right Brain: Subjective, creative, sensory, aware of feelings, aware of people. She's emotional." The computer paused. "And a moron."
"That's your opinion. Just-you should be careful with opinions." (Author's Note: Right Brain is Goldy.)
"Okay you two, play nice." The computer warned.
"I am the Left Brain, I am the Left Brain, the storing Rynotes till my inevitable death Brain. You got someone to kill, you better do it right, and the right way, is with my great insight."
"I like Oreos and puppies, yes! In that order! And I cried for at least an hour after watching End Game! I am the Right Brain! I have feelings! I'm a bit all over the place, but I'm hopeful, trustful, and I'm looking for somebody to love (and kill those in the way)!"
"Here comes a boy now, here comes a boy now. Flip your hair back, take your phone out, you look great now. Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate, so gather data now and see if you want to take him out on a date."
"Oh my gosh! I think he might be the one! There's just something about him! I just can't describe it!"
"Hormones."
"I am the Earth, he is the glorious Sun! I just want him to trust me! And I want to, how do I say this? Kill everyone close to him? Wh-where are my knifes?!"
"Okay now Right Brain, you're being insane."
"No, Left Brain! I'm just being alive! You should try it! You might like it!"
"I'm working hard to give her everything she cares about, while you're just focused on the boys that made her heart jump out. I'm calm and collected when you are wild, I am the adult and you are the child."
"You think you're the right one every time. You think you know everything but you don't see anything at all. Half of the problems are meant to be mine! But you want it all your way! I hope that you're happy, 'cause she's sure not."
"Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again, um, you're an idiot."
"Name calling, really? You're gonna just do name calling?"
"Look! I'm just stating facts, and the fact is, you're a quivering little idiot."
"I'm the idiot? Well at least I don't still play with toys, okay?"
"Lightsabers are not toys, alright? They keep me fit and ready for action."
"Left Brain plays with toys! Look at you! Mister... You're a toy player!"
"Well at least I can do my freaking job! Alright? I help her learn everything she needs to know about her Cutie. You were supposed to look after her, you were supposed to keep her emotionally stable for all this. They call her a sociopath, you know! Now you're trying to blame me for how she's feeling, how she's feeling! If she's feeling unhappy it's because you FAILED her. You did this to her! She hates you I know she does! She hates you more than she hates anyone else who gets between her and Ryan!"
Right Brain let out a sob, choking back tears. A few got through and spilled down the sides of her face.
"Right Brain, look, I'm sorry, alright?"
"No you're no-o-o-ot."
"Look, maybe there's something that we could do together."
"Together?"
"Take the best parts of both of us and put them together."
"Alright, I'm listening."
"It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze. So you can choose place and I'll choose time. It's something that might be hard, it's something that may have a few bumps in the road, but in the end, it's worth fighting for. Do you know what it is?"
"Is it starting a club?! We could start a club and you can manage running it and I can manage the people and it'll be super fun! We can have a jail and a bowling ally and-"
"It was-I was talking about confessing to Ryan. We could figure out how to do that together-"
"Imitating reassembly." The computer was back.
"Uhhh... Left Brain
"Alright, Right Brain, look, we're going to make Ryan our boyfriend together, alright?"
"Alright, Left Brain. Let's confess together."
"Look, we can fix her like this, she'll be happy again, I promise, alright?"
"Reformation in 5... 4..."
"Left Brain... I... I love you!"
"3... 2..."
"I know."
"1... Experimentation complete."
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