Starstruck (the Idea of Always)

Zaterdag 24:47

LUCAS
Lucas shut the door behind him gently, so he didn't wake up the others staying on the same floor as him. He and Ralph had just gotten back to their hotel after a night out with Milan, which meant Milan and Ralph were both a little more than tipsy (Lucas had had a drink or two, but was much level headed than the other two).

Lucas pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked to see if Jens had messaged him. The last message had been from about two hours ago, Lucas telling Jens about how Milan had bought him a bright fruity drink that wasn't actually that bad. Jens had sent back "Save me some".

Lucas texted Jens.

some night

Lucas tossed his phone onto his bed as he pulled his hoodie over his head and changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. He quickly brushed his teeth and then jumped into bed, pulling the string on the lamp to turn it off, and pulling the blankets up over his head as he turned the brightness down on his phone.

A message from Jens came up as he went back to his home screen.

Still up?

Lucas adjusted his hands, letting go of the blankets, and responded.

Only for you

Jens read the message and didn't reply, so Lucas dropped the phone next to him, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes in the dark. He thought about how through the night he had fun, laughing at Ralph and Milan in the bars they had visited. He had taken pictures of them under the fluorescent lights on their phones, which they put on their stories on Instagram. Lucas thought about how although he was having fun, it was so often that he had thought about Jens, thinking that he would find something funny, or that he would look pretty in the lights. Lucas suppressed a smile. It had only been a week since they met and Lucas was already so...smitten.

He felt his phone vibrate next to him and saw light from under his eyelids. He opened his eyes and picked up his phone, seeing that Jens was calling him. Lucas smiled, pressing answer, and holding the phone to his ear, staying under the covers.

"Hey."

"Hey," Jens said quietly.

They were quiet for a minute, just the sound of them breathing. Lucas could hear a noise from Jens's end of the line, white noise like a fan or vent.

"Good day?" Jens asked.

"Yeah. Long." Lucas spared him the details. "What about you?"

"Yeah."

"What do you usually talk about this late at night?"

"Secrets," Jens whispered dramatically.

"So tell me a secret," Lucas whispered back. He heard Jens shift and assumed Jens was laying in bed like him. Lucas closed his eyes, waiting.

"Uhm..." Jens sighed. "My dad left."

"Oh." Lucas opened his eyes, not being able to see anything in the dark, unsure of what to say. "Sorry."

"I don't really care. He wasn't great." Jens shifted again.

"Wasn't great, how?" Lucas worried for a second, wondering if his dad had hurt him. Jens seemed to pick up on his worry through the phone.

"He just...wasn't really here. There's not really much to miss. If that makes sense."

"Yeah, it does." Lucas still didn't really know what to say. 

"Your turn." They were still whispering.

Lucas sighed and pulled his blanket off from over his head. There was a rush of cold air over his face, and he tucked the blanket under his chin as he put his phone between his face and the bed.

"My mom's bipolar."

"Oh."

Lucas winced, hoping it wasn't weird.

"Sander is too." Jens paused before continuing, "I probably shouldn't have said that."

"I won't tell anyone," Lucas said, laughing quietly.

"Okay." Jens was quiet for a moment. "How is your mom doing with it? Is she on medication...or something?"

"Yeah, she is. And it helps. A lot. It's just..." Lucas took a deep breath. "Exhausting sometimes. And I feel bad because I'm not the one dealing with it. You know?"

"Yeah." Lucas realized that they were still whispering, and smiled softly. He liked how Jens's whispers sounded. "But you still need to take care of yourself. Take time away from her if you need it."

"Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Or that–that's one of the reasons I came here. I just wanted a break in general I think."

"Hm."

They laid in silence for a minute before Lucas asked, "Sander is Robbe's boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah."

"They're cute together."

"Adorable." Lucas laughed quietly. "They're really sweet, though," Jens added, realizing he sounded so sarcastic. "Make each other happy."

"Hm." Lucas closed his eyes again.

Jens made Lucas happy.

Lucas smiled.

They didn't say anything after that. They both laid in the dark, in the silence, and fell asleep to the sound of each other breathing, until their phones died.