Starstruck (the Idea of Always)

Vrijdag 12:34

JENS
Jens tapped his fingers on his skateboard in front of him anxiously. He was waiting outside a cafe for Robbe, a cafe he hoped would make Robbe put two and two together.

It was the same cafe Robbe came out to him in.

He hoped Robbe wasn't daft enough to miss it.

He looked up from the crack in the pavement he was staring at when he heard a gentle, "Hey."
     He nodded at Robbe, his voice suddenly unable to work. He pushed himself up from the wall he leaned on and held his hand out for Robbe. Robbe nodded back and slapped his hand against it.
     As Jens entered the cafe ahead of Robbe, he felt his stomach turn. He knew it was ridiculous, feeling this scared to come out to Robbe. He had thought about it the night before (he had thought about it for a while before that, too), and told himself, convinced himself, tried to convince himself, that everything would be fine. That Robbe would smile and say, "Okay!" and that would be that. Everything would go back to normal.

But as he sat down and looked up at Robbe sitting across from him, he knew it wouldn't.
     Robbe hung his jacket on the back of his chair, placing his skateboard and bag next to his seat.
     Jens placed his skateboard under his feet, rolling it back and forth uneasily after doing the same with his own jacket. His fingers tapped on the table.

Robbe glanced at his hands, and then crossed his own on top of the table, his shoulders hunching up as he looked at Jens.

"So?"

He looked earnest, his eyebrows raised slightly and his eyes gentle on Jens. He looked worried.

"So," Jens started, and then stopped to clear his throat. Apparently Robbe hadn't put it together.

"I've been...off. These past few days."

"Mmhm."

Jens looked away from him, out the window, and popped his knuckles, his fingers twisting around each other. He looked back at Robbe, Robbe looking exactly the same. He nodded slightly as Jens as if to say Keep going. You're alright.

"Yeah, these last few days..." Jens felt out of breath. "Rough."

"Okay."

"You know, uhm. You know Milan's friend? The Dutch one?"

"Ralph? or Lucas?"

Jens's breathing was faster than it was when he walked in. He pulled the sleeves of his shirt over her hands and took a deep breath.

"Uhm. L-Lucas." He rubbed his face, his right cheek, and thought shit. This wasn't good.

"Yeah? What about him?"

Jens swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, his throat scratchy. His eyes burned like he was going to cry.

"We kind of..." He looked at the floor next to them, not wanting to finish the sentence. "Had a—a thing."

Robbe was quiet, and Jens's eyes shot up at him, ready to leave. Robbe looked confused, his eyes narrowed slightly and his eyebrows pulled together. Then he dropped his shoulders and said, "Okay? Is that what you were scared to tell me?"

Jens stared at him.

"Yes?"

"You were scared to tell your gay best friend that you like a guy."

A giggle broke out of Jens, erupting from his throat without him even thinking.

"Yeah. I know."