JENS
Jens rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, looking down at his phone, at the messages Lucas had sent him.
You're telling the guys this morning?
Jens sighed, looking up and thinking. He saw the guys coming towards him across the courtyard. Moyo was in the front (Jens's stomach dropped), with Robbe and Aaron behind him. Seeing Robbe made him feel a little bit better, knowing Robbe knew, knowing Robbe loves him.
He knew it would be okay. He knew Moyo was nicer now, knew Moyo was close friends with Sander, even physically affectionate with both him and Robbe.
He was still scared.
He looked away after making eye contact with Moyo, looking back down and texting Lucas back.
Yeah.
Scared
He stuffed his phone in his pocket when he heard the guys approach.
"Hey," Moyo said, sounding apprehensive.
Jens tried to smile, his lips tight, and skimmed his eyes over them, stopping at Robbe. Robbe gave him the same smile.
"Hey, so..." Jens's voice trailed off. He felt his phone buzz in his hands, telling him Lucas probably texted back. He wanted to check what he said, but couldn't look away from the three of them, all staring at him intently.
"So," he tried again. "I've been weird."
"Yeah," Moyo said.
"Okay, uhm..." He took a deep breath. He didn't know how exactly to tell them what he needed to say. He really didn't even know what exactly he needed to say. "There's something..." His breath shuddered.
"It's okay," he heard Aaron say. He gave him a crooked smile.
"There's something I have to tell you guys."
He looked at them nervously. They all stared back at him. Moyo looked somewhat sad like he already knew what was happening.
"I'm bi."
None of them said anything, but Robbe smiled. He continued.
"It's not anything new, but I actually like...like a guy, and it's the first time. I've never liked a guy before but it's—it's confusing and I've been taking it all out on you guys and I'm sorry, and I just—"
Moyo cut him off by enveloping him in a hug. Jens wrapped his arms around him immediately, his shoulders dropping and his body relaxing in relief. His face was stuffed in Moyo's neck, his hands gripping his jacket tightly. His eyes closed.
When Moyo pulled back and gripped his shoulders, Jens opened his eyes and realized they were tearing up.
Moyo's brows were drawn together, his face serious, more serious than Jens had ever seen him.
"I don't care. You understand that?"
Jens nodded, his lower lip quivering slightly.
"It's okay." Moyo pulled him back into another hug. Jens took a deep, shuddering breath. His eyes closed, he felt another pair of arms wrap around him and Moyo, and let out a scoffing laugh as he realized Aaron was hugging them as well. He shifted so he could put one of his arms around him, up at his neck, his hand rubbing Aaron's curls.
Jens cracked his eyes open, and even though his vision was blurry, could see Robbe grinning at the guys, and watched as he pulled his phone out of his pocket before stepping back and taking a picture of them. Jens laughed and squeezed them one more time before loosening his grip and stepping back slightly.
The three of them pulled away, dropping their arms and looked down, pulling themselves together. Jens sighed, glanced at Moyo, who looked about as teary as he did. After a few seconds of silence, Aaron said, "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"
Jens didn't know how to answer, how to explain the fear so briefly. He glanced at Robbe, who gave him an understanding look.
"The world isn't very nice to people like us," Robbe said quietly to Aaron, giving him a sad smile.
Jens suddenly remembered the time the year before than Robbe showed up in front of him, bruised and wounded, saying he'd gotten into a fight with some pretentious guys from the school in Antwerp. His heart broke.
Before he could reach out and grab his shoulder, give him a hug, or hold his hand, the bell rang, and they all started heading toward the front door of the school. Jens hung his arm around Robbe's neck on the dock, bumping his forehead into Robbe's temple.
As he headed up the stairs to his first class, he felt lighter, like there was a bump in his step, like he was lighter. There was a weight lifted off his shoulders.
He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, squeezing between people to get to the door of his class. He smiled as he read it.
I'll give you a kiss when you're done with school.
He managed to type out a quick :) before his instructor tapped his shoulder and motioned for him to put his phone away.
YOU ARE READING
Starstruck (the Idea of Always)
Fanfiction"Just let me." Jens's voice was all he could hear. "Let me love you." Lucas let him.
