Starstruck (the Idea of Always)

Vrijdag 22:37

Jens
He didn't want to leave. If he could, he would have stayed for weeks and weeks, waking up every morning in Lucas's bed, falling asleep in the dark with his arms around his boy, saying silly things to make him laugh, having those beautiful moments where they didn't have anything to say, so they just wrapped their arms around each other and stayed like, their foreheads pressed together, their breaths mixing between them.

But he was needed. And of course, he had schoolwork, and a little sister to take care of. And he didn't bring that many clothes. And he would be back. Probably next week, with or without his friends.

And it wasn't like they were that far away. In the same time zone, they could make plans to call that would probably work out for both of them. They could call daily (as was the plan), talk about whatever they needed or wanted to talk about. Jens had made Lucas promise that he would call him if he a panic attack, or if he needed any kind of support. He'd held his hand out in front of him, his pinky finger extended, and Lucas had laughed quietly before hooking his on Jens's and using it to tug him into a kiss.

It was like they couldn't stop kissing. Or holding hands. They couldn't stop touching. At the party at the skate park, Kes and Jayden had teased them, commenting on how at every second of the night Jens had an arm around Lucas, Lucas's leg was laying over Jens's, their fingers were entwined, Lucas's head was on Jens's shoulder, Jens's forehead resting on Lucas's temple. Like they were tied together. Jens had no idea how he would survive being away from him.

He was still amazed by how fast he'd fallen for Lucas.

Within days, he was head over fucking heels.

Lucas and Jens stopped at his platform, facing each other, and Jens set his skateboard down at his feet. They still had a few minutes, and Jens planned on using up every last second he had. He reached out, gripping the lapels of Lucas's jacket and pulled him closer, looking at his face as Lucas looked down.

"Hey," Jens said quietly, getting Lucas to look at him.

Lucas did, sighing heavily and lifting his hands up to touch Jens, one hand reaching up into his hair, the other pressing against his throat softly, and Jens smiled.

"I already miss you," Lucas said, brushing his fingertips back and forth over his skin lightly.

Jens gazed at him for a second. Lucas looked sad, his head tilted slightly, his eyes looking more up at Jens than directly at him.

Jens reached around Lucas's neck, pulling up the hood of the sweatshirt he was wearing, the sweatshirt he'd swiped from Jens's bag before they left Lucas's house. He carefully placed it on Lucas's head, pushing the curls that fell into his face out of the way, and then placed his hands on Lucas's neck under the hood. His skin was warm, and he felt Lucas shiver against his cold fingers.

"I'm right here," he whispered. Lucas's lower lip quivered and his fingers tightened on Jens like he didn't want to let go.

"Come here." Jens pulled him in and kissed him, Lucas taking a deep breath as he did, and felt Lucas's hands slide to hold his face. Lucas pulled him closer, his shoulders shrugging up, lifting to stand on his toes, trying to be as close to Jens as possible.

"Text me when you get home?" Lucas asked when they pulled away.

"Mm-hmm." Jens pressed his forehead to Lucas's. "And I'll call you tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that. And-"

"Okay," Lucas interrupted, laughing.

"I have to go," Jens whispered after a minute of silence, taking a deep breath and pulling his face away from Lucas. Lucas whined, pulling him into another kiss and wrapping his arms around his neck. After pulling his mouth away, he pushed his face into Jens's neck, squeezing with his arms, and Jens wrapped his own arms around him, lifting him slightly.

"I'm gonna go see you next week," Lucas said, his voice muffled but audible. Jens smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Mm."

Jens pushed him back gently, pressing kisses across his forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips, before letting go and leaning down to pick up his skateboard.

"I love you," he sighed, placing a hand on Lucas's cheek and kissing him softly.

"I love you too."

---

Jens sat on the train alone, the compartment nearly empty, save for an elderly woman who gave him a small smile as he passed. He pulled out his earbuds as the train moved, placing his bag on his lap and his board under his feet. He sighed as the music began playing, looking out the window into the dark, watching lights and buildings pass by, watching the moon follow him.

He thought he fell asleep for a few minutes, but his eyes opened the second he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. There was a message from Lucas, a selfie of him, visible under a streetlight, holding the skateboard Jens had given him to his chest. He was pouting lightly, looking away from the camera. The message under it read "I miss you :(".

Jens smiled at the picture, saving it, and texted back "Only a few more days, we can do this".

And then he stared at the picture some more. Stared at Lucas's eyes gleaming in the light, at the freckles just barely visible in the dark.

He really was beautiful.

Jens sighed, smiling lightly at the screen.

Starstruck.