Starstruck (the Idea of Always)

Donderdag 19:58

Lucas
Most of the lights shining on and flashing around them were a shade of blue, and fuck if Jens's didn't look good in blue. Lucas had to hold himself back from pressing him to the wall he stood against. They were at the party Kes and Jayden had texted him about, a party somewhere in the city Lucas didn't go that much. Looking around, he couldn't see anyone he recognized from school, and he stood a little closer to Jens.

"I'll wait here, okay?" Jens asked, turning his head to look into Lucas's eyes.

"Mm-hmm." Lucas's mouth twisted to the side. He still felt bad about keeping Jens a secret. He felt bad for Jens, of course, his heart clenching with guilt every time he thought about it, but also for his friends. They were supposed to be his best friends. He was supposed to trust them, and all of that. But they didn't even know about his boyfriend. And his mother knew about his boyfriend. Lucas couldn't quite explain why he wasn't ready for his friends to know. He thought maybe he was scared of change. Scared that after they knew everything would change and be awkward, which would especially be true if Kes knew about the crush.

"What's wrong?"

Lucas shrugged, glancing away before looking back into his eyes and then at his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

"Baby," Jens started, sighing, "It's okay." He leaned his head down, making eye contact with him. "I'm serious. You take your time. I can wait." He tried for a reassuring smile. "Okay?"

Lucas looked into his eyes for a few seconds before nodding and saying "Okay," quietly. He tilted his head so his forehead was pushed forward and Jens smiled again, pressing his lips to his skin shortly before pulling away. They both took a breath, looking around. Almost everyone around them was holding a bottle or a plastic red cup, the music pumping through huge speakers in every corner of the room. Lucas felt his phone buzz and pulled it out of his pocket, quickly reading the text message as Jens watched him, and looked back up.

"They're outside."

"Okay." Jens looked into his eyes and took a deep breath, nodding. Lucas breathed with him, not realising his breathing had sped up. "You'll come find me when you want to leave. If it's too loud, or if you get tired. Yeah?"

"I love you."

Jens smiled.

"I love you too." He jerked his head gently to the side. "Now go find your friends."

Lucas pressed a hand to his chest, leaning up for a quick kiss, and left, disappearing between dancing strangers.

Jens

Jens stayed there, pulling his phone out and scrolling through Instagram while he stood with his back pressed to the wall. He texted the guys and Milan (they'd made a new group chat, which Moyo had dubbed "Operation Love Lucas") telling them that Lucas was meeting his friends and Jens was staying around just in case.

"Hey."

Jens looked up at the sound of a boy's voice. He didn't recognise him, didn't expect to. He had short, light hair and dark eyes. Eyes that were scanning Jens slowly. Jens straightened, giving him a tight, uncomfortable smile.

"You look lonely," the boy said, smiling.

"I'm not."

"I said you look lonely." The boy shifted on his feet, glancing at Jens's hands holding his phone.

"And I said I'm not." Jens stared back at him and didn't put his phone away, hoping the boy got the hint. He watched, his heart sinking, as the boy smirked, seeming to take Jens's demeanour as a challenge.