Chapter Forty-Seven

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Zi Wei was crying on the bed and Kido felt his heart tighten at the sight of her first thing in the morning.

He instinctively reached for her and held her as close to him as he possibly could.

"Honey, what's wrong?!?"

She shook her head and smiled through her tears. "Nothing is wrong. I'm just... I was..."

Kido sat up to have a better look at his fiancée. "I'll get you water?"

Zi Wei squeezed his hand. "No... there's no need. Stay here and just... just be with me.."

He noticed her holding her phone and saw it opened on the word app. "What did you just read?"

"Yue sent me the latest draft of the book..."

"Ok. Why are you crying?"

"It's just...", the woman wiped at her eyes, "I just got reminded of all that we went through and how grateful I am to have you. You know? I mean –."

His fiancée choked up, held a hand out to let him know she is just feeling overwhelmed, and Kido remained beside her, watching emotions wash over her, allowing them to take her in because no matter how close they get and who he becomes in her life, there are things that Zi Wei would still have to take on by herself.

However, he could let her know that he would ALWAYS be there in the aftermath.

"I am grateful you gave me a chance too, don't forget that..." he whispered to her.

More tears burst from Zi Wei's eyes and she took his hand, that she was squeezing, closer to her lips and kissed them. "I'm happy I asked Yue to write this. It reminded me how I almost lost my life, how I lost Feiyu, how I had to watch Di-Ge's pain..."

Kido took her face in his hands and wiped her tears.

One of the things that they've talked about before and something that Kido knows could trigger this onslaught of tears – other than being touched by the memory of what she had been through is the guilt that Zi Wei sometimes felt.

She took it in her head to think that a lot of the misfortune that happened to her beloved Gege was her fault.

"I hope you stop blaming yourself for everything that happened..."

The way her eyes buckled was answer enough for Kido.

"Hon...", he began and the with a firm resolve told her, "None of it is your fault."

When their relationship was starting, Zi Wei opened up to him about feeling guilt over what had happened to her brother.

He could remember her words as clear as day. "If I did not get sick, Gege wouldn't have had to leave Zuer. And if it wasn't for me too, Feiyu would have never come in to our lives. He wouldn't have been able to take away the woman Di-Ge loves the most – he wouldn't have caused all of us so much pain. I let him in. It's all my fault."

It crushed Kido's heart to know that more than the heartbreak Zi Wei suffered over Feiyu, what rankled and dug claws into her was the guilt of thinking she was a catalyst to all the hurt and misery that came into their lives.

During that time, Kido would like nothing more than to actually beat up her ex-boyfriend because the woman that he loves most in the world continues to suffer because he couldn't keep what's inside his pants to himself.

And DiDi knew of his sister's feelings of guilt too but could not do anything about it.

Hence, he really pushed for them to be together.

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