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I never got out of somewhere quicker.

The last thing I remember was collecting all my stuff from my dressing room and leaving as quickly as I could. I feel stupid, so stupid.

He is unbelievable, and there is no changing his ways. The hard part is I knew he wasn't going to change, but I took a last minute chance on him.

I didn't say a single thing to him, I left and shut the door. He wanted me to come and see him like that. I don't know what his point was; was he trying to make me jealous? I am not jealous of that girl, if anything I feel bad for her.

The drugs, oh my god I didn't realize he did hard drugs. That explains the first time I met him, his eyes were beat red. I was just so naive to think it was from sleep deprecation.

He doesn't want to be friends and work things out, he wants to intimidate me. He wants me to see him in his true prime. There's no scaring him or battling him with anything, he's going to do what he wants no matter how I retaliate.

I hurried back to the hotel because I was beyond embarrassed by the situation. It felt like I was the topless girl on his lap due to the second hand embarrassment. I couldn't get out of there fast enough, I grabbed my shit and got back to the hotel in record time. I needed to be alone in my safe space, where he can't taint it.

I know this tour is going to be hell, he's gonna make it a nightmare for me. It's only been the second day and I'm already exhausted just by him. I can't believe he'd call me into his dressing room with lies just to put me in a terribly awkward situation. I've never met someone like him before, so unbelievable.

When I got to the hotel I did the only thing I could, get ready for bed. It was nearly midnight after all, but tomorrow I get to sleep in because it's my free day unless called by one of the guys.

I needed to sleep, today has been absolutely draining just by the drama and nerves. I woke up abruptly today, ran into Harry too many times, cried in the bathroom, and held everyone up.

I showered the sweat off myself, sweat from the hot arena and the stress. It was nice to use the expensive shower to wash away all my daily regrets, quite refreshing if I'm being honest. Even the soap they supplied was top notch, so no complaints there.

After my shower I got into my pyjama shorts and an oversized shirt that used to be Ryan's. It's kinda messed up to be wearing your exes shirt still to sleep in but he never asked for it back and it's my favourite sleep shirt. I don't think he ever wanted it back, it was all ripped at the end from how worn it is. It's a dark red football class shirt, clearly too big for me but that's what I kinda like about it.

I started to get very tired when I was brushing my teeth, pushing all the thoughts of today in the back of my head. My body was physically hurting all over from exhaustion. I was lazily driving the toothbrush in my mouth, shutting my eyes and just excited to go to bed after this.

Until there was a knock at the door.

I opened my eyes to face myself in the mirror again, freezing my brushing. I thought I just heard it in my head until the door shook again from a heavy knock, startling me a little bit.

I lean over and spit in the sink, rinsing quickly before hurrying over to the door.

I opened it up and came to face a tall frame standing in the doorway. My stomach dropped to my shoes, my breath escaping my lungs the second I met his green eyes that were still reddened from narcotics.

My first instinct was to shut the door on him in reflex, but when I did he slammed his hand against the surface and held it open. I look at his inked hand covered in silver, my stomach jumping.

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