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trigger warning: depressive themes, discussions of graphic abuse, mental health related topics.

Aven Brooks

Snapping my eyes open from my sleep, I forgot where I was. The ceiling was white and it was incredibly dim. I turned my head and saw the glowing alarm clock and glass-windowed wall with curtains along with it, with that my memory jogged.

I was in the hotel suite, Harry brought me back here last night.

I sat up in the massive king-sized bed, realizing I was swimming alone in the luxurious white duvet. I yawned and saw how it was 11:45. I ran my hair back and rubbed my eyes, my head pounding. I threw my face in my hands as the memories of last night came flooding back.

At the hospital, Liam and Louis went home around 1. I didn't want to leave Niall yet, so I told Harry I was staying and he should go get rest. He didn't though, he stayed out in the waiting room all night. I eventually fell asleep in my chair and woke up to him carrying me out. I was too tired to fight it cause I barely remember the trip home. Everything was a blur until we got back to the hotel and he was running the shower water. From there I woke up enough to bathe all the blood off my legs. I was so drained, even under the warm water stream. I remember how he waited outside the shower until I was done, sat patiently on the closed toilet seat with a towel on his lap for me.

"Niall will be moved to his hotel tomorrow morning," I remember him telling me as I tiredly showered.

He was so gentle and caring. I remember stepping out of the shower as he wrapped the towel around me and dried me off with another. We were so silent the entire time, but I needed it. He knew I was drained.

It must've been nearly six in the morning when I got in bed. He changed me into a pair of his fresh clothes and laid me down under the blankets to tuck me like a child. His gentleness was something I needed so badly, I loved to see him take care of me. Once I was all bundled up in his bed, he gave me a warm kiss on my forehead. That was the last thing I remember, I must've passed out right after that.

Waking up today I was just feeling off. I must've slept a full six hours but it feels like I didn't at all. My eyes were burning and I had a stomach ache from all the stress I've was clutching all night. The feeling of fear has been such a pivotal emotion lately, I'm just always scared of what a new day would have in store. I knew what I experienced with Niall will haunt me for the rest of my life, luckily he's okay.

I wanted to go see him in his hotel room and make sure he was doing alright, probably spend most of my day there to keep him company. He'll probably just sleep but in my opinion, I would want someone with me if I was recovering. I'm sure Harry understands.

Where was Harry?

I grabbed my glasses off the bedside table, sliding them on my face so I could see. Getting out of bed, I waddle over to the bathroom to brush my teeth before doing anything else. I didn't brush them last night, too tired for any of that.

My reflection was a mess, I looked drained. My under eyes were dark from lack of energy and my skin pale from the sickness I felt. I started brushing quietly in this elegant bathroom, my eyes wandering around the room as I did so. I felt so numb to all the monstrosities my life has been accustom to. My brain was starting to blackout the terrible moments of yesterday as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Finishing brushing my teeth, I flick off the light and head back through the bedroom in my black shirt and Harry's boxer briefs. I open the tall door and walk out the hallway of the hotel suite, we had a really big one this time that was two floors. It was very nice but I hope he wasn't booking these extravagant rooms just for me. I was fine with just the standard hotel room like I've been staying in for most of the tour.

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