Duplicity [h.s]

80

Aven Brooks

The show was suppose to start in twenty-five minutes and Sal kept giving the rundown every five. After a long day of travel and the incident with Harry, we were finally calmed down and in Colorado.

Harry's been quiet but slowly he was easing up to his normal self again. I've realized how uneasy he seems to get after his panic attacks, last time it happened I remember how timid he was for the rest of the day. Soundcheck he was slowly getting his groove back, distracted by the music he had to practice.

So to further cheer him up, I decided to wear something a little more fun for the show tonight. I never really thought much about my concert outfits, it's usually just some jeans and a loose shirt that I can be flexible in. But I decided to spice it up a bit tonight, hoping it would put a smile on his face.

I guess the short black dress Marissa packed me was finally coming in handy.

In my dressing room alone, I switched into it before the concert so it would be more of a surprise. I made sure to slip it in my backpack at the hotel. It was a tight silk dress that ended right at my mid thigh, I definitely would need to be precarious with how I bent over to pick up anything.

The dress went straight across my chest with two thin spaghetti straps. It was a very nice piece of clothing, one I bought on a whim years ago. I felt like I was going to a concert rather than working the concert. I even had to change into dainty underwear for this outfit, so I'm really going all out here.

I stand in the mirror of my dressing room, rubbing my hands down my sides to feel the silk. I liked the way I looked in it, but this was also out of my comfort zone. Being on this tour had definitely brought me out of my shell a bit, but I was still someone full of self-doubt when it came to switching up my appearance like this. The banquet outfit was very nice and I felt very powerful in it, but that was something I had to wear. Knowing people will know I chose to wear this black dress tonight just opens the floor for their opinions.

I don't know, it's just hard. I'm an over thinker I guess.

In the reflection of the mirror, Harry's green flannel caught my eye. It was resting on the couch from earlier when he was hanging out in here and took it off. A thought crossed my mind, and before I knew it I walked over and grabbed it.

Out of pure comfort, I put it on. It was obviously big on me, but when I let it drape down and rest on the crooks of my elbows, it didn't look bad. I was too nervous to be walking around in just the dress, the open flannel made me feel comfortable. I just hoped he didn't mind I had it.

I look back at myself in the mirror, smiling at the warm material resting on half my arms. The best part about this whole outfit was one thing...

The green flannel matched my little shoes.

I grinned to myself in the mirror at the accidental pairing, kicking my foot back in a little pose of self-esteem. I wish I could just say fuck it and bust out the heels as well, but I don't think I was ready for that yet. I felt comfortable in my Vans.

I ran my hand back through my hair, an ism I've definitely picked up from watching Harry do it to himself all the time. It's crazy how many little habits I've picked up from him, probably ones I haven't even realized yet. I straightened my hair today, so it fanned my back. The little extra effort made me feel good.

I lean into the mirror and put on the thin layer of clear lip gloss, popping my lips a bit and smiling to make sure it wasn't spread past my lips. It tasted like cherry, what a coincidence.

I pull myself away from the mirror and put down the lipgloss on the counter for exchange of my phone. With one last glance in the reflection, I pace over to the door to go meet the others before the show begins. I had a weird pit in my stomach, this is how nervous it made me wearing anything that wasn't pants and shirts.