Ex Pen Pals || michael clifford

0.6

26th October, 2011

Clifford,

I now look forward to finding your letters in my locker. What have you done to me?

I particularly liked this letter. More of your personality come in every letter. I understand why you don’t like writing; your handwriting is terrible. I stare at these letters for hours trying to understand what you’re trying to say.

If I was the 45 year old man who masturbates in his basement, I’d stop after I saw the picture you sent. I don’t mean to be offensive but I laughed for hours when I saw that picture so thank you for that. It’s not like you’re ugly or anything Michael, because you’re sorta, kinda, almost cute, in a scary kind of way. That picture just made you look like a lab rat. I’m laughing even as I write this. You have nothing to worry about because I have zero coordination so I won’t be walking anywhere to do anything to you.

Wow, three friends. Nice, tap yourself on the back. The Ashton guy sounds cute. Is he cute? Can you send me his picture? I am also serious about this.

I am not the queen of the English Language in America so I don’t know why we don’t use the letter ‘u’.

My birthday, dear Mikey, is November 13th. Like, can I be 16 so I could get drunk and laid (lol I wish). When is your birthday? When are you going to be 17? What’s it like to be 16? I'm asking too much but I need to because you don’t give enough information. How old is Ashton? If he’s not too older than I am I just may walk across to Australia and do dirty things to him.

About that Luke thing... What’s he like? I mean, he could be badass and you’d be missing out on that and you’d never know. Maybe he likes SpongeBob too. He may even be like Squirdward and you’d be losing out on ALL that. Talk to him.

Okay, I'm about to head down a dark road...

You said in your first letter that you missed a year of school because you were sick. What happened? I mean I get if you don’t wanna talk about it. If it makes you feel any better my dad gets sick sometimes and he goes into hospital a lot. We can talk about that if you want to.

I don’t know why I'm laying this all on you. I just, can't talk about these things with a 10 year old kid. We don’t have to talk about my dad or whatever kept you from school but like; anything.

It’s not that I'm trying to be depressing or something but I want to tell you because even if you judge me for it I won’t have to see your face as you do it. Ugh! I'm such a loser. Forget I asked. I'm too lazy to scratch this and write another letter and there’s also a chance you won’t mind talking to me about it.

This doctor I'm seeing says it’s good to talk about it. Maybe you talked to Calum but I didn’t talk to anyone.

Again, I'm being depressing. Happy thoughts Clifford. SpongeBob, dancing guitars. I don’t know anymore haha.

Peace. It’s always peace. Don’t argue with me on that.

Peace.

 Abigail.

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It is Thursday.

It i sChristmas. Merry Christmas.

Get under my tree (or on my bed) Mikey Clifford