Ex Pen Pals || michael clifford

2.3

18th July, 2012

Crystal,

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus. I have never read something cheesier in my life. I literally wanted to barf but you seemed so cute and so happy so I'm glad. I knew you’d hurt yourself getting out of the house. I just knew it.

Now that you talk about it; Justin does seem like a good guy. I mean, he took you to see people cover your favourite (again, with the ‘u’) band. It was his favourite band though so I don’t know if that still counts.

With the pretending to be drunk thing; I have to admit, that was pretty smart. He must really, really like you to do that. You said it was seven blocks? Fuck that shit! I ain’t walking seven blocks for no chick, I don’t care how big her boobs are. None.

I’d like to think I'm an ectotherm (yeah, I know my shit). I believe I'm an ectotherm and I get my energy from the environment. If it’s cold outside, I won’t have the energy to do anything. If it’s hot outside, I’ll go charge up for like ten minutes because that shit is too hot and I'm already pale enough as it is. Nobody is making me walk seven blocks then I have to also dance in the rain like Troy and Gabriella in High School Musical? Just, no. But if that kind of thing floats your boat, then my all means, enjoy it.

I'm really happy you had fun. And the way I make you feel better trump the way he makes you feel. I hate writing (it uses up too much of my video gaming energy) but I still do it for you. That is how much I love you Abigail. So I better make you happier than him. And if what you say is true; kiss the life out of him so you won’t have to kiss Ashton and fall in love with him.

Do NOT have sex with him though. I'm still very serious about this. Justins don’t have nice penises. Don’t ask how I know, I'm a guy, so I would know important things like this. How many times have you gone out? Because I think if it’s a few and he’s already kissed you he should ask you to be his girlfriend. That is unless he’s messing around with you. He better not be playing you or I will fly over there and cut his fucking neck. That would show him to fuck with you.

Oh, I wrote a song with Luke today. The band is doing great and we’re really getting noticed here. If all goes well I will be getting laid by a girl in every country I play in.

I love you Abigail. I always will. Keep me posted about this Justin guy. I’ll like him as long as he isn’t being a dick to you.

Yolo babe. Always yolo.

Yolo,

Clifford. 

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I feel horrible. But its Thursday so.., here *inserts endless amounts of smiley face emojis*
I lava yew.