Ex Pen Pals || michael clifford

3.2

Two Years Later

It had been two years since she got a letter from Michael and a few months since she stopped trying to send him any.

She had to accept the fact that her best friend was probably dead. She had no one now who would ever understand her now. It was pretty funny because when her English teacher told her they had to do those letters she didn't want to. You couldn’t pay her enough to write the letter. The reason she did was because she needed her grade.

She didn’t regret it though; giving in and writing the letter was the smartest decision she’d ever made. That letter was the start of the best thing that ever happened to her. Even though it was short lived; Michael Gordon Clifford made her happier than any single human being ever.

It broke her heart when he sent that last letter; the one where he basically told her he was done with her and done with life in general. He used to tell her she was the reason he wasn’t feeling depressed anymore, that she was the reason he wanted to smile again, that she was the reason he wanted to live. She never wanted to believe it but he said it so much that she was beginning to believe it herself so she kept trying to make him want to live.

In his last letter he basically told her that whatever it was that she was doing that made him want to live and that broke her heart. It really made her feel just as useless as people at her school used to make her feel. Even though she and Michael were really close and they both discussed very private stuff with each other, they were still some things she didn’t tell Michael. She'd written him four letters than she just chickened out and didn't bother sending him.

Michael wasn’t the only one that was depressed and messed up. Abigail’s life was just as shitty but she never liked talking about it, especially with Michael. She tried her best to always make her letters happy because she didn't want him back into the place he was when they first started talking.

Truth was; she was depressed too. She was very depressed and even though Michael’s letters made her smile, they didn’t make her forget the way Michael was able to. Every day of her life she was being reminded of everything that made her feel depressed. That's why she had to leave.

She didn’t even waste time. She’d applied to the community college in LA and since she had stopped sneaking money in the mailbox, she had enough money to get her new life started and she couldn’t be any more excited to leave her little hell.

She tried to think of Michael less and less over the two years. Instead she just reminisced on the good letters he sent. He was a good guy and that was what she wanted to remember him for. She’d like to think she knew Michael well and she’d like to think that he was dead because the alternative of him ignoring her wasn't very satisfying to think about.

She had just moved to LA a few months ago to start the community college and luckily found a nice girl who was looking for a roommate.

The girl’s name was Amy and when she first met her, Abigail finally knew what Michael meant when he said Ashton annoyed him because he was too happy. Amy was always smiling. Like, she was always happy and Abigail was convinced she was probably on drugs or something. She was wicked smart too. If she wasn’t locked in her room studying she was out at the library doing research. She was in her final year at the community college and she had some dreaded research project to do that just seemed to consume her time. Abigail didn’t mind though. She was also a nerd and it was a relief that her roommate wasn’t some wild party animal who’d have weird strangers over at ridiculous hours of the night. No, Amy was so sweet that Abigail swore she was probably raised by Jesus himself.

She was sitting on the couch just staring at the TV screen. She wasn’t really paying any attention to what was going on. Amy came in the room and sat next to her on the couch. She’d been in her room sleeping since she came in late the night before.

“Hey Abigail, can I change the TV?” Amy asked picking up the remote. She nodded and Amy smiled at her before started flicking through the channels. Abigail started to tune out as her mind wandered to her pale, green eyed friend. She wondered what his funeral was like.

Did anyone cry?

Did anyone even go?

How did he even kill himself? She remembered him telling her in one of his letters that he didn’t like the sight of blood so he never had the guts to cut himself. The one time he went away was because he swallowed a shit load of sleeping pills.

“Calum Hood and Michael Clifford...” She heard a lady say as Amy changed the channel.

“Wait! Change that back!” She said quickly as she sat up and leaned forward.

She had to be hearing things.

Amy frowned; that was probably the first time Abigail saw one of those on her, and changed the TV. She leaned back on the couch and placed the remote on the coffee table.

“Oh, that's that new band. 5 Seconds of something. I can't remember. Wait don’t tell-”

“Shh.” She said leaning closer to the television screen. She studied the blue hair, green eyed pale boy on the screen.

It wasn’t.

It couldn’t be.

It was...

It indeed was Michael Gordon Clifford in the flesh. He was laughing at something Ashton was saying.

Ashton. He was cuter than his picture. 

But Ashton being cute wasn’t what got her attention. Michael was very much alive. She didn’t know if she should feel relieved that he didn’t kill himself or angry because he just stopped talking to her for no reason.

***

So... this officially starts and I'm sorta excited. Idk why I felt I had to update but gt this to 1k and I'll update again!