Our Future (BILLIE EILISH)

- F o u r -

After we ate, we showered. It's easily midnight now, I know Billie knows something's wrong with me. She keeps giving me that look that she gives me when she knows that I'm not telling the truth.

We were now laying in bed, Billie was laying on my chest. Her arm was rested over my stomach and I was stroking her hair, I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before she spoke.

Billie: "You alright? You've been quiet."

Maddie: "Yeah, I'm fine, I just don't wanna worry you."

Billie: "You're worrying me by not telling me what's going on."

I knew she was going to say something like that.

Maddie: "I'm sorry, I just don't wanna ruin your tour."

Billie: "You could never ruin my tour, what's up?"

She looked up at me, even thought it's dark in the room I could still see her sparking eyes.

Maddie: "To shorten a long ass story, your tour team never confirmed if I could stay the entire time. They only confirmed me staying for just under a month, so I would leave after the New York show."

Billie: "So you're not going to be here the entire time?" She said in an unreadable way, she's mad.

Maddie: "I don't know, your mom's scheduling a meeting with your team to see if I can stay, Claudia said that they have no reason not let me stay. There's a higher chance that I'm staying."

Billie: "But there's still a chance that you're going to leave."

Maddie: "If it was up to me, I would stay, and I am staying, see this is why I didn't wanna tell you." I sighed.

Billie: "But I was going to find out one way or another, you shoulda told me this from the start."

Maddie: "No, I know how you think. You would think about the day I leave rather than the time I was here."

Billie "But why would you get my hopes up?"

Maddie: "I didn't! Oh my god, I wanna be done with this."

Billie: "Okay."

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. The only thing I didn't wanna do was hurt her and that's exactly what I did.

I kept playing with ends of her hair, I know she's not asleep either. But I know where she's coming from even if she doesn't tell me how she feels. I know that tour was hard for her, and then I made it worse by keeping this from her.

My mind was racing, I understand why she would be hurt by this, I understand why she would think that I did the wrong thing. I shouldn't have kept this from her.

Billie: "I'm not mad at you shorty."

I didn't say anything, because she has every right to be mad.

Billie: "What are you thinking?"

Maddie: "How I hurt you."

Billie: "You didn't hurt me, you can't hurt me."

Maddie: "I can and I did, I lied to you and kept something from you."

Billie: "You were only protecting my feelings, even if you do leave, we'll be okay. We were okay before you got here, so I don't see why we couldn't do it again."

Maddie: "I don't wanna leave you, and I don't wanna leave this."

Billie: "I know you don't, why does the tour team have to confirm it? You're here on your time and on your money."

Maddie: "They want to be involved, and it took awhile for your mom to get back to me about staying for a month. So I don't know why they're involved, but don't let that get to you. I'm staying. They have no reason to send me home."

Billie: "Do you know how hard it was to convince them to let me go to New York? They're not going to be as easy as you think."

Maddie: "That's different, I see why they were hard. You're the star of the show."

Billie: "When's the meeting?"

Maddie: "Right before the show in New York."

Billie: "Good, you can tell me right before I go on."

Maddie: "The show would've already started."

Billie: "I'll push it back-"

Maddie: "I'm not letting you do that, you'll find out. I'm staying so there's no reason to stress about it."

Billie: "Why are you stressing about it if there's no reason to stress?"

Maddie: "I was stressing about your reaction."

Billie: "Well I'm not mad or anything, I just knew when you told that you were staying the whole time. I had a feeling that it wasn't true."

Maddie: "But it is true."

Billie: "You're right, you're staying. You're not leaving."

Maddie: "I know I'm not."

Billie: "I refuse to let you go, even if they tell you that you can't stay, I'm not letting you leave."

Maddie: "You shouldn't work against them."

Billie: "You're more important to me than some old tour people."

Maddie: "But your career."

Billie: "Shorty, they do not run my career. They're here to make sure that tour can happen, my label runs my career. My labels not here."

Maddie: "The tour team is provided by your label."

Billie: "My label loves you, they're not going to let you leave. What the meeting is going to consist of, they're going to do whatever the label says. The label loves you, so therefore you're fine."

Maddie: "How do you know that?"

Billie: "I just have my ways."

She placed a kiss on my lips and her grip around me got tighter, I kissed the top of head and we drifted off to sleep. I'm just glad that her reaction wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

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this chapter was boring as hell, but it all ties in, like actually ties in so perfectly and i can't wait for you to see what I'm talking about😉

what are your predictions for this book? what do you think the main problem's gonna be? what do you think overall?

i love writing this so far, it's so fun.

thanks ily

words: 1011.