BAD BOY BULLY (Completed) | MIKEYISANGELIC

Chapter 2: Life & Liam

Why does it have to be so hard? God please answer me. I just wish I was with someone right now. I wish I was laughing with someone right now. I wish I was watching movies with someone right now. I wish someone was there for me. I wish someone would care for me. I wish someone would love me.

But no

I'm sat here, with no one beside me. You can't hear a sound. And i feel nothing.

I should be moving forward with my life everyday but somehow it feels like i take a step back every time. I couldn't help but think about some of the tragic moments in my life.

My mother. The first person on my mind and will always have a place in my heart. I was seven years old when  it was time her to go from this world. And that killed me. I could never forget how much love and care she had for me. Even when i got in trouble with Cameron and she would shout at me, she would still kiss me every night telling me she loved me and would always be there for me no matter what. She was everything my happiness needed.

And then there was my dad. The second person on my mind and will also have a place in my heart. I was also seven when i lost him. When he heard the news about my mother, I couldn't even imagine what he felt. All I remember was being sat beside him outside the hospital room. I was sat in his lap and I remember looking up at him. The tears just flowed so i hugged him so damn tight.

Just dont let go please.

And then the nurse comes out of the room. All I remember was my dad and the nurse speaking

"What is it!?" He cries.

"She..im very sorry Mr Anderson...she's not breathing. We tried everything we could sir"

And then all I remember was hearing the scariest, most loudest and most painful scream.

Three days later i was introduced to a care home. I hadn't seen my dad ever since we heard about my mothers news. They told me he moved away to Ohio which at first confused me. Wouldn't he have wanted to take me too? Why would he just leave me? Why wouldn't he want to stay with me?

As years went by in that care home,  they broke the news to me when i was thirteen. Thirteen. Because they thought i was finally at an age to understand. But the truth was, I didn't. And i never will. Why he took his own fucking life. Why he was so damn selfish to leave me here in this world. He knew i had no one. He knew there would be no one. It was at that moment when I found out i had nothing. Oh how I thought i had it all. And now it was taken from me.

***

It was a ten minute walk until I got to the field. I couldn't name much places that I enjoyed going, but this, it was this place that brought me..something. The emptiness, the clear air, the bright green grass and open space everything. It just felt like the right place to be in especially when my mind is all over the place.

I sit on the ground leaning my back against a tree. This is where I would usually sit every time I would come here. This was a special tree.

I pull my guitar out and a few spare papers I found lying on the table earlier. Maybe I can write a few lyrics down

Lyrics, words, music was something I loved. Songs are simply just stories. It's like letting the truth out but being very metaphorical with the lyrics. I believe that lyrics are words that we can't speak about in reality. And that's why it stays in a tune. But deep down. There are certain lyrics that mean a lot to me and help me a lot.