i can't help it (mj fanfiction)

Chapter 18: Goodbye

There was one week left before school started. We had spent the months dancing, snuggling, we had a few picnics. But the sooner we got to the date I needed to leave the more painful our activities were.

We were in my room packing my clothes away. I'm leaving in two days. Michael folded the clothes I threw at him to put it in my bag. My heart was heavy and my stomach aching. Michael moves slowly, almost as if he's hoping to make my stay longer. We got all of my clothes in the bag and sat on my bed, the stuff for my dorm were in boxes in the living room. Michaels birthday was soon, the last day I get to spend with him actually. We were silent, caught up in our own thoughts. I was going to break up with him the day I left, and I think he knew it.

"Michael baby." I rested my hand on his face. "I will never stop loving you." He bit his lip as tears formed in both of our eyes.

With sniffles he said "Do you remember, the first day you moved here I think, I was unpacking your belongings and I opened your underwear bag. I was so embarrassed." He weakly smiled.

My tears were running down my face "Yes Michael. You were so nervous, you wanted to leave!" We both laughed and held each other's hands. "Do you remember when you pushed me in the pool, I think it was the day I met your family."

"How could I forget! That day was great, we really bonded." I kissed his cheek and he froze. He began to inhale and exhale quickly his head finally fell between his knees and he started balling.

"Michael." I whimpered and rubbed his back.

"I know it's going to end. But I don't want to leave you Penny." His breath was heavy and my chin quivered.

"I-" I had to take a breath for I was so distraught "Michael I don't want to leave you either. But our relationship won't survive without us being with each other, it would be too painful."

He nodded and laid his head on my lap, "But one day, we are going to see each other again. And maybe everything will fall into place." He said quietly.

"The winds will push us to each other again some day."

Michael didn't respond for a minute, but I could tell he was thinking. "Penny I want to marry you." He said boldly.

I completely broke down, "Why would you say that now Michael?!" My chest was so heavy and I couldn't even see his face due to the tears.

"Because I've never met anyone like you, and I don't think I ever will."

"Well Michael when are you coming back home?"

"I'm not sure, we will be working on the album in New York and in California. But I will also be traveling with my brothers, doing concerts. I'm not sure Penny." He rubbed his eyes.

"Well how about we say this: When I graduate in four years we will reunite. And if the feelings are still there -and as strong as now- then I don't see a problem with us coming back together."

"1981. We will see each other in 1981."

I hadn't even thought about it that way but he was right. We would see each other in the next decade. "We can write letters to each other before then, and meet over spring break and stuff."

"Penny you know how busy my schedule is. Writing letters will be slow and it will be rare if we are able to see each other during your breaks. But I will try my best if you do."

"Of course I will try Michael. I promise you."

—————————- Michaels Birthday

Penny-

August 29th, 1958 Michael Joseph Jackson was born. August 29th, 1977 I lose the love of my life with only a thin strand of hope that we will reunite in our future. I was leaving at 5 to head to my new dorm and get settled in.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Applehead, happy birthday to you." I sang to him while I lit the candle on his cupcake. As he blew out the candle I leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You're 19 Michael!"

He smiled and kissed my lips. I kept glancing at my watch to see how much time we had before I had to leave. 4 more hours with Michael. Although I was trying to stay happy for Michaels birthday I couldn't help but cry inside. "Do you feel any older?"

"Mmm, no."

"Well that's a shame, I've always had a thing for mature men." I tucked my hair behind my ear as Michael began to giggle. I helped him eat his cupcake in his backyard, the bright green grass poking my thighs.

"4 more hours Penny." He stared into my eyes. I nodded and stroked my thumb across his cheek. I leaned in to kiss him, initially a small peck before Michael pulls me closer. Our last make out session, hopefully not forever. His warm lips dancing with mine as I crawl into his lap.

"Michael should we move this to your bedroom?" I was afraid his family would catch a glimpse of this moment.

Michael locked the door behind him as I laid onto the bed. He quickly removed his t shirt and dropped it to the ground. His hands grazed up my ribs as he hovered over me, kissing the corner of my mouth. I swiftly removed my top and Michael smiled brightly down onto me. My hands tugged at his pants, he got the hint and removed them. His glorious body on top of mine. "Michael you're so handsome." He blushed and pulled my shorts off of my body. Michael sucked on my neck as I kissed his jaw.

—————- 1 hour later

I was holding Michael close, completely out of breath but filled with so much love. He had remembered to use a condom this time luckily. His fingers traced circles on my tummy as he laid on his side next to me. "I love you so much." He said.

"I love you too baby." Our lips touched once again. I looked at the clock on his desk. 1 and a half hours left. Michael made a whimper sound and hugged me so tightly, his face buried in my neck. I tickled his neck and felt his smile on my jaw. His warm breath against my skin gave me shivers. "I'm going to miss your smile... and your eyes... and your love."

"Lucky for you, you will always have my love." He showered my cheeks with kisses. We held each other until I had to start putting things in the car, preparing to leave.

"That's the last of them." I said walking up to Michael who was sitting on the curb. My mom was waiting for me in the car. It was time to say goodbye.

Michaels face was red a puffy from his tears, my eyes were burning. He stood up and gave me a needy passionate kiss. The last time our lips would dance with each other for a long time. We hugged tightly and didn't want to let go. He walked me to the car door.

"So this is it I guess."

"Yeah" He sighed and kissed me again. "I love you so much Penny. I'm always going to be here for you. Please don't do anything reckless. And follow your heart." He handed me a necklace with a gold locket with a picture of us inside.

"Michael, oh my gosh. You shouldn't have." He pulled my hair back and clasped the necklace securely on to me. The locket hung low on my chest. "I will wear it everyday." I reached into my pocket to pull out a picture of Michael and I  from Studio 54. "We look good Mike." I nudged his shoulder as he blushed. I felt my emotions take hold of me as I ripped the picture in half and handed Michael the side with me on it. I looked into his red tired eyes as he put the picture in his pocket. "Michael, be safe. Always work hard, and don't beat yourself up about everything. I love you. Never forget that." He wipes my tears away and we shared one last kiss. His lips lingered on mine before he opened the car door for me to step inside.

He held my hand through the window as my mother started the car. "Goodbye my love." Our hands still clasped together as my mother drove forward, now ripping our hands apart. My heart bled at the lack of his touch "I love you Michael!" I shouted out the window.

"I love you Penny!" He shouted back. My tears were unstoppable, I folded over into my lap and my mother rubbed my back.

"Happy birthday my love!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as he became a small figure in the distance.

"I love you!" I could barely hear him say. He was now a tiny speck in the road.

Michael was gone.

Michael-

I walked back into my backyard and toppled onto the grass. Penny was gone.