i can't help it (mj fanfiction)

Chapter 34: Neverland

WARNING:
There is a a moment some readers may find disturbing or triggering. When it says flashback, continue reading only if you feel comfortable.

November 1989

Penny-

I sat still next to Jake as we had a long drive ahead of us. We were going to stay at Michaels for a week.

"You're not going to be with him alone are you Penny? You're still my Penny right?" His hand gripped my face, his fingers pushing against my bruises in the back of my neck.

"Ouch... Jake."

"You're still my Penny right?"

"Y-yes." I wanted to scream to the driver to free me from this man, but an invisible string tied me to his heart. I couldn't leave him.

"Good." He leaned in to kiss my neck. His jaw tensing as I moved away from him a bit, bringing a flashback of the day my bruises were created.

~Flashback~

"I know you're cheating on me! Don't lie to me Jake! You always l-"

"Shut the fuck up!" He grabbed my face, his fingertips digging forcefully into the back of my neck.

"Jake! Ouch!"

"It doesn't matter if I'm cheating on you! Does it? NO! Because you're mine Penny! You're always going to belong to me." He smirked, I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Jake... please you're hurting me." I tried to push him away.

"Don't... DON'T push me away." He yelled into my ear causing it to ring. My heart was pounding for I realized what was happening but I couldn't stop it. "Now go to this photo shoot, and bring home my money. Okay? Okay my love?" His hand dug into my waist.

"Y-yes."

The driver pulled into Neverland. It's gates so welcoming my heart fluttered. It took a bit of driving to get to the house, we passed the train station, I could see some rides from here. And there he was, standing on the porch, waiting for me.

"Michael!" I pushed open the car door and ran into his arms. A bright smile on his face and he opened his arms to me. "I missed you!" My chin brushed against his red button up shirt as his curls tickled my ear.

"I've missed you too Penny. Is Jake here?"

"Y-yes."

"Don't worry Penny, I will take you to the movies so we can be away from him for awhile okay?" He whispered. He knew our relationship had been digging it's grave for about a year.

"Okay." I hugged him tighter, his sweet smell giving me goosebumps as his arms comforted me.

"Hey Michael!" Jake walked up to the porch as I pulled away from Michael. "I have to leave in about an hour, can we start unpacking?" Oh yeah, Jake had to "work" while we were down here. How the hell did he expect me to not be alone with Michael when he literally forces me to be alone with him?

"Yeah okay." Jake grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the car to get our stuff.

————- 55 minutes later

"Bye." He kissed my cheek before driving off.

"Welp." Michael clapped his hands together. "You wanna... ride the Ferris wheel?"

I smiled brightly "Yeah sure."

Michael helped me into the seat of the Ferris wheel. "So I saw your recent photo in the Levi's magazine. You looked great, but of course you always do." The seat rocked as it began to move forward a bit.

"Oh yeah... thanks."

Michael looked at me, my hair was in a high ponytail. "Penny... what- what are those?" His fingers brushed against my the bruises on my neck.

"Omm- hickeys."

"No... those are so big."

"It's dark outside Michael, you can't see that well, they're just hickeys." I coughed and let my hair down. His face scrunched as he looked forward at the sunset.

"Umm... okay." Michael set his hands in his lap.

"Your profile is very attractive." I abruptly said.

He was still staring at the sun set ahead of us. The Ferris wheel had stopped so we were resting at the top. "Thank you."

"Are you happy you got the surgeries Stinky?"

He huffed "Yeah. I'm glad I don't look so Joseph."

I giggled "That's good. When you look in the mirror are you happy with what you see?"

"Erm. I guess. Can we not talk about this?"

I squeezed his hand "Im sorry." He looked to me, his big eyes pulling me in. I found myself wanting to hold him, and make all of his worries go away. "Well, how was the tour? Did you make any good friends?"

"Ehh. I don't like to hang out with those people."

"The crew? Why not? They are there to keep you company too."

"No. I don't know I think I just feel safer when I don't trust too many people. It may be lonely but it's easier to know that they won't betray my trust if I've trusted them with nothing. Ya know?"

"Yeah. I get it. Well I'm glad we have those calls. It's really nice to get away from things once and awhile. You're perfect for that too."

He stared at me "So how is your career going? I've been seeing you in an awful lot in the magazines."

"It's great. I'm really enjoying myself. It's a great escape from everything."

He smiled "I'm glad you're having a good time." He cleared his throat "I'm sorry if this is a bad time to bring this up, but does Jake still not want to have a child with you?"

I looked down towards my lap, the memories flooding back. "Yeah. He still doesn't want to. The situation has only gotten worse actually."

His eyes widened "What do you mean?" He tugged on his lettermen jacket for today was a bit cooler.

"We haven't had sex in a year." I rubbed my forehead anxiously. Michael shifted for he was a bit uncomfortable now. "I've thought about cheating on him so many times. I'm just determined to fix our relationship though, but now it's hanging by a thread."

He gripped my hand and pulled it into his lap. "This may be a bit awkward but it's just a thought. I would be totally okay if you wanted to have a child with me." What? My head flipped towards him, surprised. "Like artificial insemination. You can use my sperm cells." Oh...

I shook my head lightly, he was such an angel. "Wow. That really means a lot Michael but I could never do that to you."

"Do what?"

"Well I know how much you love kids and want some of your own. What if you became sad that you couldn't see him or her?"

"We could arrange something for us to see them equally."

I smiled lightly "Thank you Michael." I squeezed his hand tighter as I stared at his bright white socks. "But that's a lot to take in right now."

"I know. It's just a thought."

I settled back into the seat and leaned against Michaels shoulder. Today had been a great day.