i can't help it (mj fanfiction)

Chapter 39: Love

January, 1990

Penny-

"What kind of music do you listen to?" Michael asked Ryan White, a boy dying of AIDS. Michael invited him over for a week and it was the second to last day he would be staying with us. I decided to talk to his mother, Jeanne.

I slipped on one of Michaels jackets to meet Jeanne on the back porch. "Hey. How ya doing?" I leaned against the brick wall that held flowers on top, or what was supposed to be flowers although they were wilting in the chilly January weather.

"I'm doing okay. Better now that Ryan has a good friend to spend time with."

"Michael loves Ryan. He grew up not having many friends so I know he appreciates this friendship just as much as Ryan does." I played with the button of Michaels blue lettermen jacket.

"Michael sure does wonders Ryans mood. Does he have children over often?" She curiously asked.

"Yeah sometimes he brings in some inner city kids. But it hasn't been as often cus' he has some projects he's working on and it's more fun to be at Neverland when it's spring or summer."

"Do you live here with him?" She turned towards me, she was a short and round woman and her face glowed with love.

"Yeah, but I also have a house in LA. Although I haven't been there in quite awhile. I'm honestly thinking about just selling it and moving in with Michael but I would have to talk to him about that." The breeze blew my hair around.

"I'm sure Michael would love for you to stay. When I was eating dinner with him last night he couldn't stop talking about how much he adored you." I smiled and played with my hair. "Do you love him?" She boldly asked.

"I- I think I do. You know we used to date back in the 70s. We were very much in love, but I don't think we really knew what was going on. I think I am falling for him. I'm not sure, I just divorced my husband so it's been kind of a strange feeling to bounce from one man to another." I giggled.

"I totally understand. Take your time, Michael is surely willing to wait." She rubbed her arms. "Phew it's chilly, I'm gonna head inside."

I waited outside for a bit until I heard Michael join me. "You leave Ryan alone in that big house?"

"He got a bit tired so he was going back to the guest house to take a nap." The sun started to go down a bit. What time was it? "Girl it's cold out here! My nose is about ready to fall off. Do you wanna go inside?"

"Yeah sure." We headed inside the warm home. "I'm excited for a nice hot shower tonight." I rubbed my hands together and looked through the pantry for hot chocolate mix.

"That sounds peaceful. Make me a cup? Pleaseeeee?" He whined and slipped his jacket off of me.

"Okay Stinky."

We sat in the living room drinking our hot chocolate and listening to some classical music. Michael wore a gray sweatshirt and Spider-Man PJ pants. His hair was a bit messy and he wore no makeup, just his precious baby face. "You're perfect you know that right?" I stroked his face. "Despite what the media says about you."

He smiled and turned to look at my face. "Says my model girlfriend. Yeah okay, whatever." He giggled a bit and set his mug on the coffee table. As he settled back down I reached over to sit in his lap, staring right into his big brown eyes. Everything about him made me want to melt.

I kissed the corner of his mouth as his hands grabbed my waist. "It's true. You're so kind to everyone. Like what you're doing for Ryan? That's so kind of you. And you're so selfless, you always help me before you help yourself. You can sing, dance, act, AND draw. Like holy shit you're talented. Your hair is adorable when it's messy and sexy when it's all done up. Your eyes draw every human being into you, and your smile. Oh god your smile." I found myself getting a bit emotional. "And the fact that you are able to push through everything the media and the public says about you. Because you know there are people that count on you, your fans. Even your fans are perfect. They have been so welcoming to me when we have gone out in public." My chin began to quiver.