Chapter 50

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Jennie's POV

I was busy staring at the stars when Lisa put her head on my shoulder as we silently sit here in roof top.

"Thank you for granting my wish" mahina nitong wika. Matapos ang naging kasal namin kanina ay hiniling nito na iuwi ko sya sa guest house, gusto nya daw makita kung paano magningning ang mga bituin sa langit kasama ko.

"You know I will do anything for you" tugon ko saka sya niyakap ng mahigpit. Nakaramdam na naman ako ng kakaibang kaba, dapat masaya ako pero bakit pakiramdam ko may mali.

She reach out for my hand and held it tightly "Promise me that you will always be happy" may panginginig sa boses nito. I can feel so much sadness, so much loneliness.

I shook my head not wanting to accept the pain "No, I'm not promising anything" I answered with a low voice, I'm not yet ready and I will never be. Why the world is so unfair, why the fucking universe allow this kind of shit.. to witness the love of your life slowly taking away.

"Jen" mahinang tawag ni Lisa sa pangalan ko, I can feel my tears threatening to fall. I stop myself to cry, not here, not now in front of her. She cupped my both cheeks and force me to faced her, I smile sadly seeing the pain in her eyes.

"Lis please.. don't go" malungkot kong saad, nagmamakaawa sa harap nya.

"You know that this will happen right, we can't stop this" a tear rolled in her left eye "I don't want to see you like this Jen believe me I want to stay but I can't"

"I don't want you to go" I whispered, trying to convince her to stay but I know it will never work, my heart shutter into pieces I know I look like a fucking mess right now. If ever I can stop the clock from ticking I would, if that's the only way I can be with Lisa forever.

"I know Jen, I know" she said while caressing my hand "but maybe this world is not for the both of us. Maybe we can meet somewhere, in another lifetime Jen we can continued what we had but not in this time"

The tears I tried to stop started to fall, I can't take this anymore, the pain slowly eating me.

"No Lisa, every lifetime is ours but fuck this universe" I said while crying, looking at the stars shining brightly. It's like they trying to say something, something that I don't want to know.

"You know Jen I regret coming back for you, kung alam ko lang na magiging ganito hindi na sana kita muling ginulo. But I don't regret loving you that's the best thing I do in my whole life" napangiti ako kahit sobrang durog na durog na ko sa loob. "Thank you for choosing to stay Jen kahit alam kong napapagod ka na, you always choose to be with me"

"Diba sabi ko sayo I will always choose you" tugon ko sa kanya "Lis, can you fight again.. for me.. for us?" malungkot kong tanong kahit alam ko naman ang sagot, nagbabakasakali lang na pwede pa. Nagbabakasakaling pwede pang ipilit kahit parehas naman naming alam na hindi na kakayanin.

Isang tipid na ngiti ang sumilay sa maputlang mga labi ni Lisa habang umiiling "This is already planned Jen"

"Are you already giving up?" kinakabahan kong tanong sa kanya kasi ako nakahanda na akong isugal ang lahat lahat makasama lang sya hanggang dulo, manatili lamang sya sa tabi ko.

Hindi ito sumagot, ni hindi man lang tumugon, nanatiling tikom ang kanyang bibig. Doon pa lang alam ko na ang sagot nakakapanghina, pakiramdam ko ilang libong patalim ang isa isang nagsisitarak sa dibdib ko.

Sandaling katahimikan ang bumalot sa pagitan naming dalawa, pinapakiramdaman ang bawat isa.

"Jen sing me a song.. I want to hear your voice.. maybe for the last time?" maya maya ay sambit ni Lisa bakas sa kanyang tono ang labis na pagkapagod. Lumunok muna ako habang nag-iisip ng kanta na pwedeng kantahin.

I held her close putting back her head on my shoulder. Hugging her so tight as if I don't want to let her go.

I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend?
Like we're not scared of what's coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

I start to sing softly, singing my heart out. Expressing what I feel inside.

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

I smiled remembering on how we started, on how they find me inside of their compartment and bring me in this guest house. That's the best thing happened in my entire life, to be with Lisa.

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

Hindi pa man tuluyang nangyayari ang kinatatakutan ko gustong gusto ko ng sumabog. Hindi ko alam kung makakaya ko pa bang mabuhay habang inaalala ang mga natitira naming alala ng magkasama.

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask is

I can't sing anymore so I stop from singing instead I pull her closer by her shoulder as I leaned to kiss her lips softly. The taste of her lips, every moment, her being close to me, this is what heaven feels. This is what love feels like.

I kissed her temple while breathing heavily as I look up at the sky. Only the moon and the stars, they are here to witness how I hide the pain, how I crying secretly inside.

Maybe my love is not enough, maybe I don't do it much better. Maybe.. just maybe.. in this lifetime were not meant for each other.

"Jen I'm tired" she said while yawning. I placed my hand on her and entertwined our fingers. It felt so right but a little bit strange at the same time. I bite my lower lip stopping myself to make a loud sob as I watching her to breath heavily.

"Go..goodbye.. Jen... my wife. I want you to be happy" she said slowly while showing her brightful smile, her smile I want to see everyday but now this is my last chance "un..until we met a..again.. my Ruby Jane"

She slowly close her eyes after saying her goodbye, I hug her close feeling her heartbeat slowly fading.

"Fly high my love" unti unting sumisilay sa kalangitan ang sinag ng araw "I love you, I always do" I said while I cry harder as I placed a kiss in her still warmth lips.

My love is in a better place now, no more heartache, no more sacrifices and no more pain.

Once again I look up in the sky with a broken heart and whispered my goodbye "Until we met again my Pranpriya"

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Patawarin nyo ko please 😭

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