(30) Seeing red

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I couldn't breathe

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I couldn't breathe.

I felt like there was a boulder on top of my chest, weighing me down, crushing my lungs, suffocating me to death. I couldn't even speak, all I could do was silently watch as Raphael laid the dead body of my best friend on top of the concrete slab, my heart exploding with pain and tears endlessly rolling down my cheeks.

Yet I had no words.

'I just hope he's kept himself safe.'

That was my last thought before my world came tumbling down, it's ironic, right? It was almost as if the angels themselves were torturing me, making me pray for Simon's well being before ripping the band aid off in one fateful blow, revealing the exact opposite of my hopes.

Hope really does breed eternal misery.

I clutch a hand over my mouth, muffling a pained sob, before backing against the wall for support, my vision blurry, though not blurry enough to not see the agonised looks from my friends and sister, all pained and helpless, not knowing how anything could make this better.

My eyes dart to the side and catch Alec's gaze, his eyes trained on me ,sadness and sympathy trapped in the intense swirl of green and blue, capturing me like it always does. He doesn't say anything, knowing there was little to help, and I could tell by the fog behind his eyes that he hated being this helpless.

And I did too.

"The vampires breached the Accords, killing Simon is grounds for war" Izzy states, her expression stoic and mouth tightly lined, her eyes anywhere but on Simon, her sorrow evident.

"The Vampires were not behind this. Just Camille. She attacked Simon on her own...I could have gotten rid of him, but instead I brought him here. I don't want trouble with the Shadowhunter's." He explains, a defensive tone behind his words as he presents his innocence and I scoff, anger building inside me.

"Oh, how fucking saint like of you, really we should be thanking you" I hiss in anger, my eyes narrowed down into slits as I glare at Raphael, my pain morphing into fury and my words spitting out like hot venom.

"Cam" Clary warns, recognising the signs of my outburst and downfall but I choose to ignore her, knowing that once I see her tears and the grief in her expression, staying even remotely strong wouldn't last.

And I couldn't let myself fall apart, not yet.

"I warned the mundane to stay away... but Camille gave him a taste of her own blood, and like an addict... he came back wanting more."

"The only reason Simon ever tasted Camille's blood is because of you! You fucking kidnapped him...You delivered Simon on a fucking plate to Camille!" I roar out, pushing off the wall in a rage of fury and I immediately make towards Raphael, my hands coming forwards and ripping my serph blade from its holder, catching the attention of everyone in the room.

Belonging | Alec LightwoodWhere stories live. Discover now