Orb of Obscurity

52-Nodes Tollens

*realisation that the plot of your life doesn't make sense anymore*

Also, this picture above is such a boyfriend look on Jimin that it hurts to look at him😭😭😭.
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Saura's POV:

I was listening to songs, looking out the window of the train that I was travelling in. I had sent Maren back to her country. It was a sad situation but considering the events that were going on in my life, it was bearable.
After shedding enough tears to fill a lake, we parted ways. I sent her abroad and left to tour this country on my own.

My holiday.

I smiled as I thought about how much I had wanted to wander the world, travelling and staying at weird places, eating all kinds of food.
Thinking of food made my stomach lurch and hungry at the same time.
I wanted something sweet and spicy. My mouth started watering as I thought of all the yummy food that I could eat. I was craving some good food.

And yes. I was pregnant.

I remember hearing the words and laughing out loud. Here's how the conversation went.

"What do you mean? I am not in the mood to joke Maren." I sighed, still laughing as I tried to sit up.

She was still crying, her face redder than a tomato as she helped me sit up.

"Do I look like I'm joking, you fool?" She choked as she placed a sheet in my hand. An ultrasound report.

I didn't need an explanation to know what it was. A child. My child.

No, ours.

My hands trembled as I laughed. My eyes teared up as I looked at Mare.

"Please tell me you're joking. This is a prank right?" I asked as tears fell on the report in my hands.

She shook her head vigorously as she held my hands crying. I rested back on the pillow behind my back as I bit down on my tongue. I shed tears silently, not having the strength to cry.

Look at the situation I was in. Did I look like I could take care of a child then?

How did I ignore all the signs? I remember feeling nauseous all the time and having violent mood swings. My while body felt sick but I attributed it all to the accident and the stress from Jimin and the exams. How did I forget my period? I had a child in me now.

My child.

The thought alone scared me to death. A body made from my flesh and blood. Someone who would call me a mother tomorrow. I wasn't ready to be called by that name. I didn't deserve to be called a mother. I was behaving like a kid myself, how could I bring another kid into this world?

You could abort.

A voice whispered in my head. Abortion wasn't something easy. I was already 16 weeks in. It would be a tedious job involving a lot of pain. But did my child deserve it?

My child?

I laughed at myself It hadn't been 24 hours since I came to know about my pregnancy and here I was referring to the baby as 'my child'. Of course, that's what motherly instincts were about. I recalled all the times I had babysat someone else's kid, all the things that I had planned and anticipated to do with my kids.

It was then that a bulb lit in my head.

I was more than ready. Had I been in my country, I would have been married with kids by now. I was old enough for a kid and in the right place in life. My degree was over and I could go back to work anytime. Of course I could have the baby!