The Soufflés That Got Burnt (Whouffle One Shots)

Body Shots

So this one is actually mature... I guess? Someone told me that one story I did wasn't too mature and I would like to prove them wrong. I probably shouldn't know what body shots are but who cares! I'm already corrupted because of society anyway. But for those who shouldn't read it... Don't.

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Clara and the Doctor walked into the extremely loud bar and sat down. You're probably wondering why, but long story short, they got stuck in a beach and now... They're here... When it's Spring Break.

"Hey, can we get two drinks, of whatever that blue and orange stuff is?" The Doctor called to the bartender. You're also probably wondering why he's ordering a margarita. Well... The two had a bet to see who could have a better time.

The bartender slid the drinks to him and he handed one to Clara, who reluctantly took it. She wasn't much to drink, more of the studying type when she was young and it stuck.

The Doctor excused himself after the drink, leaving Clara alone.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to see a shirtless dude with a drink in his hand.

"Hey, you one of those that does those body shots?" Shirtless asked, clearly drunk.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, them body shots!" Shirtless said and before she could respond, the Doctor came back from getting some fresh air.

"Clara, who's this?" He asked, an eyebrow raising.

She turned around to see a out of breath Doctor, who suddenly brought her close to him.

"Oh, is he your boyfriend?" Shirtless asked, taking another swig of his drink.

"Yea, she's my girlfriend." The Doctor replied before Clara could.

"So I guess you're gonna be the one wanting to do body shots off of her, huh?" Shirtless asked, grinning.

The Doctor patted her head and nodded firmly. "Oh yes, definitely. We do those all the time, don't we Clara?" Now she was glaring at him, trying to shake her head without Shirtless seeing but he was already beckoning the scantily clad shot girl over. The Doctor grinned at his spring break finesse before looking down at the tray of lime green shots. "What's that?"

"They're... Shots." The Doctor told Clara and she raised an eyebrow. What was up with him knowing what shots and all that are now?

"Bro, do you not know how to do body shots?" This frat boy was grinning stupidly and the shot girl was starting to look impatient. Maybe it would be better if they just left. Clara reached for the Doctor's arm but he was waving quickly and reaching for the psychic paper.

"Bro, I happen to be the creator of the body shot, thank you very much." Shirtless blinked in awe and reached out to shake the Doctor's hand, the shot girl managing to wiggle the shot glass into Clara's cleavage no matter how loudly she insisted they were leaving. When the Doctor pulled back and saw the glass, he looked puzzled. Shirtless raised his fist, garnering the attention of every single spring breaker in the place.

"Yo! This guy is the creator of the body shot!" The whole bar erupted with cheers and applause. Shirtless put his fist in the air again, shutting everyone up. "And he's gonna do it on his smoking hot girlfriend!" Shirtless grabbed Clara's hand and raised it above her head, almost spilling the green contents of the shot glass down the front of her chest. Another frat boy and Shirtless put her on the bar table, placing a lime wedge in her mouth.

The crowd started chanting. Body shot. Body shot. The Doctor looked at Clara for a second and she nodded quietly. Shirtless put some salt on Clara's stomach and handed the Doctor a shot glass filled with more of that green stuff.

In a split second, his tongue was on her stomach and he quickly drank the shot. Everyone cheered as he finished by taking the lime wedge from her mouth using his.

In the end, it turned to more body shots and more alcohol in the two's system by Shirtless and his identical-seeming friends. Each one thanked the Doctor for his valuable contribution to society and hugged Clara for clearly inspiring this innovation.

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"You know, they'll find out you didn't invent the body shot." Clara said on the walk back to the TARDIS.

"We can just invent it later. But anyway, were you impressed?"

"More like surprised. Didn't expect an old timelord to be a party one. Do not take that as a success." Clara said as she entered the TARDIS.

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So. It probably wasn't smut or whatever, but it was better, at least. More fluffy fics will be on the way. :P