✓ [18+] EVERY LITTLE THING

X X X V . M Y H E A R T I S Y O U R S

EVERY LITTLE THING
Copyright © 2020 by MischiefMaidenX

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Song Chapter: I Get To Love You - Ruelle
(added up top for you to enjoy while reading ^_^)

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X X X V . M Y H E A R T I S Y O U R S

S A R A H

When I walked out of the master bath and into my room, I half expected to find it still in the catastrophic mess that I left it. But much to my surprise, it's cleaned almost to perfection. If you didn't already know that I threw a fit, nearly destroying every materialistic thing that I own in the confined space of my room, you never will now.

Adam.

He had cleaned up my mess while I was sulking on the tile floor of my shower, running through every last memory I have of Christopher and I. Wondering, which ones were real, genuine, and which ones were a lie.

It's one thing to not trust someone who's alive, but to not trust someone who's dead, who can't defend their side of the story - not that there's really much there, the man cheated, plain and simple - is heartbreaking. All I find myself wanting now is to confront him. Figure out the why. But that will never happen and that realization that I'll never have closure makes the pain that much worse.

How do you forgive someone who has completely taken your heart from the protective space of your ribcage, smashed it, and then stomped it beneath his boots - but isn't even present to see the outcome of his decision? How do you gain your confidence back that you're enough? That you're worth it?

All of those thoughts run through my mind as I stare at my now made bed. I hear Adam removing his work clothes that had gotten wet, no thanks to me, and the little sliver of my heart that's holding on for dear life, the sliver that I've given back to him over the last few weeks, beats erratically. It reminds me that even though I may have lost the man that I loved, that I was faithful to even after death, is no more. That it's time to move on. Completely.

Since the moment I forgave Adam, I've been holding off getting completely intimate with him. Not just because I wanted to move slow but because I had felt guilty. Like I was betraying Christopher. Ironic isn't it?

Dammit Christopher, why? I was always faithful. I took our vows seriously. Why couldn't you?

Adam walks out of the bathroom and when he passes me, I feel the warmth from his body attach itself to mine. It's as if it's calling out to me. Sensing the turmoil I'm going through and all it wants, no needs to do is mold itself to mine and blanket me with undying love and devotion. The devotion that I clearly never got from the man I've spent the last decade giving myself to.

The wrong man.

I close my eyes, praying to God, asking him what this all means. Why did he put the wrong man in my life that was only going to break my heart in the end and betray my trust? Why did he put a man there that I thought healed me, only to damage me even more than when he found me? And why after all this time, did he put my first love back into my life - just so that I could fall back into love with him in the end?